Newsletters ~ Contact Us ~ Aims and Goals ~ White Wreath Day Past Services ~  Volunteers ~ Statistics ~ Members ~ Personal Stories ~ Donate/Shop ~ Guestbook ~ Thankyou ~ Directors Report ~ Press Releases ~ Correspondence ~ Advocacy ~ Coming Events ~ Sock-It-To-Suicide~ Safehaven/s Newsletter on May 2009 Directors Report Thank You Guest Book Belinda's Journal Wish List Real Life Story Peter Neame Research Officer Cameron's Diary Coming Events Correspondence . . . . . . Right click here to download and save May 2009 Newsletter. SDSDSDSDSDIRECTORS REPORT The 29 May yearly is National White Wreath Day – In Remembrance of All Victims of Suicide. This is a Remembrance/Commemoration Day remembering those that have taken their lives by tragic means. All are welcomed to attend a service that for most is the first time they are able to freely recognise losing a loved one. Each and every one of us who has had suicide within our families or has had/or has someone suffering a mental disorder know too well that the system we have in place today is not working. We have had to endure lack of services and help before and after a loved one have taken their life. Suicide/Mental illness is like a modern day cancer. Everyone knows of someone that either has been personally touched or a friend of a friend. Suicide/Mental illness affects all walks of life, all cultures and all ages regardless of whether we are rich, famous or poor. The urgent need for “Action Against Suicide” is upon us right now. If we want changes to be made we must fight together and assist us to raise the much needed funds to build Safehaven Centres. We have never professed that we will stop all suicides but we know that we can reduce these unacceptable high levels by as much as fifty percent once our Safehavens are up and running. Please contact us for more information of a service within your area. Fanita Clark CEO - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ > THANK YOU Exceptional gratitude towards Kennard’s Hire-Wayne McJarrow, Clayton UTZ Lawyers, Dobson Mitchell & Allport Lawyers Hobart Tasmania, SunCorp, GIO. - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ GUEST BOOK 23 February 2009 Victoria Your website has helped me and I have forwarded my story that I hope you publish… - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ PETER NEAME RESEARCH OFFICER Schizophrenia is the Neurological model of all mental illness. Long Before the memory of 99% of “professionals” currently working in mental health it used to be said, “If you get the treatment of schizophrenia right everything else in mental illness will improve.” Here are the reason/reasons why: The pharmacologic agents used to treat/self medicate mental illness including street drugs; have cross over effects in many mental disorders including neurological disorder where there is no obvious deterioration of personally such as epilepsy, chronic pain and Parkinsonism. Current and over the last 40 years education of “Mental Health Professionals” Including Social Workers, Sociologists, Criminologists, Psychologists, Psychiatrists and Psychiatric Nurses have taught people to look at mental illness from a: Bio - psycho - social perspective Biology-scientific mind “seat of stress, upbringing, child abuse, cultural, mores consciousness” parents, education/learning – ad nauseaum There is no objective scientific basis for the “mind” so the biopsychic-social model was really the bio-social-social model. Bio or science being outnumbered by social influences especially over the last 60 years do not blame Freud the truth is it is evocative – a trap in reality, for professionals, to believe or want to believe that by ‘force of their (the professionals) personality’ they can “cure” mental illness (via long winded counseling/re-birthing/verbal sexual or real sexual intercourse). Thus for at least 60 years nonsense: witch craft and sorcery have reigned supreme in mental health. Peter Neame is Research and Publication Officer for White Wreath Action against Suicide and author of “Suicide and Mental Health in Australia and New Zealand”. - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ REAL LIFE STORY MY ONGOING BATTLE I am 28 and have battled with mental illness since I was 8 years old. I don’t believe in the labels which my Mental Health service has pinned on me. My main problems I battle with are depression, feelings of self-harm, cutting and burning myself and suicide, in which I have attempted a number of times. I have contacted the white Wreath Association a number of times for help as I battle to get help for my mental illness from my local mental health service. I had spoken to them a few weeks ago to talk about how things were going; little did I know things would get worse when I went to my last appointment for the year with mental health. I am seeing the 3rd person this year which has taken on the role of case management. I hate changing because you have to describe your situation over and over again. It also takes ages for new people to trust you. They have this stigma because you have a mental illness and have feelings of wanting to die; you are dangerous insect in a tube. They usually have read your file and all readymade decision about what type of person you are before they even know what you look like. I saw the same case manager for 10 months of this year (2008). She went on holidays in November for 6 weeks and left me to see another case manager while she was away. I have to get used to her leaving anyway as she is pregnant and leaving in March next year (2009) and yet another person will assume the role of case manager and I have to start all over again. The case manager who has taken over while she is away was supposed to see me for the 6 weeks. However, mental health is closing from the 19th December (2008) till the 19th of January (2009). A whole month where there is no case management going on and there is 2 intake officers a day (9 – 4.30pm) to take calls or see people in the emergency department. No one get’s ill for the Christmas break apparently. It is a beautiful time where no one is ill, has thoughts of suicide or self-harm according to my mental health service. The lack of care and service every year over this time makes me angry, it is the time of the year when a lot of people feel suicidal and I know that from many other years when my own friends and family have taken their own lives. You feel alone and a lot of thoughts and feelings and situations can go on over that month. I have been told I can talk to them over the phone or if I self-harm to go to the emergency department where I will be fixed up and seen by someone from mental health when they have time which can be up to 6 hours wait during this period, Because there is also skeleton staff on at the Psychiatric ward over this period there is no hope of getting into hospital if I felt at risk of really hurting myself. As like many other wards they want as few people as possible in hospital on public holidays. I am lucky to have a supportive step mother who cares for me. During this time she is more or less left alone with my friends to help me through any thoughts. You can ring an intake worker if you are feeling suicidal, but you usually get told to have a warm shower and a glass of milk. They never take you seriously. I have even been told that suicidal people don’t ask for help they just do it. That has led me to making attempts on my life before. It seems there is n where else to turn in this town. Even if I went to the emergency department because I was feeling suicidal it can take many hours before you see someone and you are usually sent home. Even if you do get to hospital you only get to stay overnight and a maximum of 3 days if you are suicidal. During this time you are locked up and fed a lot of drugs and sleep over this time. It is a band aid solution they just don’t want to deal with it. Then they send you home with copious amounts of medication which can be very tempting way to commit suicide as nothing has been dealt with. I thought I was going to have support from mental health service over the holiday period and that is what I had told White Wreath when I rang last week. But I have been left to defend for myself over this time. Things change so frequently with mental health they tell you one thing one week and another the next. I only hope next year will be better and pray in March I might have a new case manager who cares and is willing to help. J TO BE CONTINUED…….. I AM STILL SO ANGRY BUT I’M TRYING My Xmas was very lonely. None of my children rang or came to see me. My daughter sent me a parcel of Avon as she sells Avon in her local area. I sent them a $200 Gift Card. My other daughter sent me nothing. I sent her a $200 Gift Card. She said she posted a present to me but I didn’t get anything as usual. I am still missing my partner really badly and I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I am sick of everything. Nothing changes where I live and the places I go to is the same thing day in and day out. The other day I met a lady whose husband gassed himself in a car seven years ago and she said she has moved on now. I showed her White Wreath Assoc Newsletter about my partner who shot himself in front of me and she was shocked how come I’m still here and how well I’m doing. I still feel lost and can’t understand why I get nothing after all I’ve been through seeing my partner in front of me shoot himself with all his remains splattered over me. It is a cruel world and I keep saying to myself what did I do in life to have this terrible thing happen to me and why can’t anyone do something to help me. I have received no financial help or offers of counseling to assist me. My kids laugh and think it is a big joke because I still get wild and angry. I have never been so hurt in all my life. I have been through hell and back and still going through it. Why me? Give me a reason why I should be a descent person when everybody treats me like dirt. I should turn nasty then I might get treated better than being a goodie goodie as it is not working for me at all. If I turn to crime maybe I would be better off. I’m sick of life and Government Laws stink. Everybody makes out they care but nobody does. Government is b……s… and the law sucks. IS THERE HELP? I have been married to a wonderful lady for 25 years and we have two children. When I say wonderful it was wonderful in the beginning but after the birth of our second child things started to change. My wife was always tearing and unable to cope with simple tasks but I just thought this was just how she was and I was always there to help her. It never entered my mind that things would turn more seriously. One day she rang me at work and said Help Me! Help Me! The kids are getting me down. I can’t take this anymore. Hurry up come home. As this never happened before I immediately left work and went straight home. I couldn’t believe what I came home to. Dishes, food, clothes, nappies were strewn across the house. The kids were screaming, she was screaming. I honestly didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to ring the police. I really didn’t know what to do. I rang my mother who lives four hours away and asked her to please come and help. I explained what has happened and she said that she will pack a bag and come. In the meantime waiting for my mother to arrive it was an absolutely horrendous time. I was trying to calm my wife and the children and clean up at the same time. The time that it took my parents to come seemed forever but finally they arrived and I immediately put my wife in the car and took her straight to the hospital. We sat there and waited for hours and by then she was in a motionless state of mind until finally it was our turn to see someone. I explained everything that went on not only today but in the past but by that time it was our turn to see the doctor she had calmed down and the doctor said she most probably had an anxiety attack and everything is fine. I accepted what he said and we went on our merry way. In the car she said she will never let that happen again. For the next two weeks everything was fine then again it happened. This time I was alone as I couldn’t ring my parents as they live too far away. I asked the neighbours could they please look after our children as my wife is very sick and I have to take her to the hospital. We were not great friends with the neighbours but they saw the pleading in my eyes and said of cause they will. Again we waited for hours at the hospital then finally our turn. This time she wasn’t motionless and the doctor said something more serious is evident that just an anxiety attack. We will get a Psychiatrist to see her. Again we waited for hours until a Psychiatrist finally came to see her. All of this was very daunting for me as seeing a Psychiatrist was completely out of my league. Anyway the Psychiatrist wanted to see her on her own. I said it may be better if I came in with her but he said No it’s better if we see her on her own. I said Ok and waited. After approx 15 minutes they both came out and the Psychiatrist said it is nothing serious and I have prescribed anti-depressants which should help her. If nothing has improved come back. Well nothing did improve and she got worse to the point that I was afraid for our children. By then I was in a shocking mess myself trying to cope with work, her and the children. I asked my parents can I drop the kids off after explaining everything to them but I couldn’t tell them how long I would leave the children with them. That was all fine and we drove down and dropped the children off so my wife could have a little peace. None of this worked and my wife started getting worse and violent with me. I was getting scared of her and again did not know what to do or where to go. I said to myself…should I leave her or should I not leave. Where can I go for help? I rang as many places I possibly could and no one could advise me on what to do. Finally I found your website and now I understand that my wife has a very serious mental health problem. Now for the first time hopefully we can get help as I have a better understanding of what is happening. My only problem is “Can I personally cope with being by her side. I will do my best, but I just don’t know whether I can do it... Please don’t judge me with negativity. Until you have lived with this or are living with this now only those will understand what I am going through. If you wish to correspond you can do so through the White Wreath Assoc which I have given my permission to personally contact me. MY ONGOING BATTLE to be continued.... I am in the darkest hour. I feel alone, out of control, depressed. I just want it to go away. I have thoughts of ways I can kill myself and I try to fight them. My mind comes up with different ways to suicide each room or place I walk into. It is a roller coaster of emotions. I am crying at the littlest things. I have given up watching TV< my emotions are so raw they send me into a spin with the littlest upsetting thing on television. All I have to see is a car crash with no one I even know in it, its states away or countries. The depression, crying and uncontrollable emotions wash over my body. I have known I have been getting ill over the last couple of weeks. My brain won’t stop it is stressing about the littlest things, I am possible the only person on the planet who has bought 50% of their Christmas presents and it’s February. The feeling of stress worrying about the rest of the presents. Will I be able to get through these feelings to be alive by Christmas? It is compulsion that drives me, that I might not get through it and I won’t have anything left for my friends to have happy memories of me. The feelings of self harm engulf me quite frequently. I don’t want to go out with any of my friends or my family. I am frightened if I slip up they will reject me, or they cope with my behaviour. They most likely won’t freak out, like most people do so I hide like a turtle in my shell. It is just me and my cat; he sees it all and still accepts me on some days. Sometimes he is the only reason I go on as I know there is no one to look after him if I go into hospital. I can’t, I don’t want to be in hospital either. I have tried to get help for how I am feeling but all I get from mental health is, “do something to distract myself.” I contacted White Wreath and got some relief with someone who listened and cared and did not palm me off as a waste of space. My biggest problem I have at the moment is I forget to take my anti-depressants because my brain is racing and stressing about so many different things. I know it is not helping the fact. That my brain goes, “maybe this is the real me with no medication, maybe this will never end and I should allow nature to take its course!” I don’t know what will become of me. I could cut and burn myself all over, that the pain will be so bad that it will take away any other thoughts I am having. It maybe, only is a relief for only a couple of hours but it is a break. Most people think I am a freak, or attention seeking but it is to stop all the thoughts in my head. I know I might die one day if I get a major artery, but that does not affect me as I know that it will stop my thoughts, if only, for a little while. I am the only person I know in my town which self harms for the reasons I do. That is a downside of being a regional area. No one can fathom the extent of pain inside of me which leads me to mutilate my own body. You can’t talk on the internet as there are so many people out there who enjoy pushing you over the edge for fun. When I do self harm I can’t get an ambulance as that means I am seeking attention, so I have to catch a bus or walk a couple of kilometres to the hospital. When I get there I have to say what I have done to myself in front of everyone in the waiting room. Then I sit and wait, and even if I have got an artery. Eventually I will be seen. All they do is bandage me up as they say I have enough scaring, more won’t matter. If I need stitches you come across doctors who believe that if they stitch without pain relief, it will stop me from harming myself. They do not understand my pain inside me that eats away and spills into self-harm. I then wait for hours for mental health to come and see me and send me home. Most of the time I feel like an alien on this planet. No one feels like I do, I don’t feel normal at all. I don’t know what the solution is, will I get better? I don’t know what the future holds or the next minute. What will my emotions be like tomorrow? Can I cope with this alone in the world, these feelings I have are out of control! I so much want to be normal, but I never can be, my scars over my body will be a reminder all my life. The next self-harming could be my last. None of the medication I am on is relieving it, not the Xanax, not my anti-depressants not anti-psychotics. When I take my tablets that are causing more problems. If I can still awake after I take them they make me start hearing a radio with very loud mental music. This then leads onto very dark, horrible voices which push me closer to the edge and egg me on to self-harm and think of suicide. How can something that is supposed to be helping me, make me feel so out of control and spiraling into another world of blood, razor blades and burning myself to live. What human would do this to themselves, not a normal one? I don’t know what will become of me or if I can live with this pain for much longer.... - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ BELINDA'S STORY Belinda’s Journal Continued 7/9/98 Returned from overnight leave this afternoon @ am severely pissed off with what I’ve discovered. I found I had a new roommate which on its own was ok but she has severely violated my privacy. I found her sunglasses (which she wears indoors) on my bedside table which at first I just thought was strange, especially since my side of the room had been curtained off. She then makes a weird remark about not knowing that I’d been on leave which is so untrue since the whole community knew. I wasn’t at the community meeting this morning for one. I found my handbag open which I had left on my bedside desk so I shut it. When I returned from having a couple of ciggies (about half hr later) it was open again. I was pretty pissed off but went to grab my book for the lecture since there was no money or anything else of importance missing @ found another little surprise. The day I went out (Sunday) I had been working on my autobiography @ was on the last page which I had left folded over. This however, which I also believe I left in the back of my book, was neatly tucked into the front without the page folded over. Fucking bitch has obviously read it. You would think anyone with half a life would have better things to do with their time. Feel like ripping the cunt’s (and I don’t use that word often) head off and shoving it up her arse. Deep breath! Inhale! Exhale! I’ll get over it I guess but there were some pretty private things in that autobiography, not to mention this journal which I bet she also messed with. I’m turning the matter over to my higher power now and know that how it is dealt with was meant to be. Still feel like breaking her neck though. On a brighter note have been moved; due to my complaint of this matter to the nursing staff, into the downstairs hostel rooms – cheaper for mum @ dad by about $200 @ privacy once again. TO BE CONTINUED...... - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ WISH LIST “DONATIONS TAX DEDUCTIBLE” Stamps, Copy Paper, DL Envelopes, Volunteers Aust/Wide OR YOU MAY LIKE TO DONATE 1. Via our credit card facility posted on our Website www.whitewreath.com then follow the instructions. 2. Directly/Direct Transfer into any Westpac Bank Account Name White Wreath Association Ltd BSB No 034-109 Account No 210509 3. Cheque/Money Order to White Wreath Association Ltd PO Box 1078 , Browns Plains Qld 4118 WE ARE NOW TAX DEDUCTIBLE - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ CAMERON'S DIARY We, the White Wreath Association, have been given permission by Cameron’s sister to publish his diaries. Wednesday May 17 Just waiting for Bernie! Got mail from solicitor. Made appointment for Monday! I hope it goes alright! Thursday May 18 Went to probo’s. Spoke to Mal. I can’t remember which day. He said he is going to Townsville and said he will come up here and visit. He said he can get me a start in the mines! Friday May 19 Went to Bro Kelly’s. Cleaned ceiling in spare room and fixed some of driveway. Had a panic attack and talked it out with Bro Kelly. Thank God! Went back to 1 tablet instead of 2 because of weight problem. Saturday May 20 Went to see Da Vince code with mum. Spoke to Jake about the kids. Sunday May 21 Tried to get in touch with Mitchell. Fucken frustrating. I’ve got to stop thinking about Jaki! The slut! All negative! I can’t go back there! Not after what she put me through! I got to think positive! I know what that situation is all about! I’ve come too far to let her start getting to me! Be positive! Monday May 22 Went to solicitors! Everything went good! I’m at Bro Kelly’s looking after his dog! He was missing when I got there but he turned up a bit later! A lot happened at the solicitor’s. That was good. Still a lot to sort out! I’ve got to get organized with Mal ASAP! I also text Mitchell and said sorry out last night’s messages. Thursday May 25 Went to town did the usual. Probo’s and shopping! Tried for learners again. No good. Friday May 26 Tried to get learners to no avail! Went to Townsville to get Mitchell and got my learner’s there! They put the wrong address on it! Went to court. Got remanded for 1 month. 26/6/06. Got Mitchell, had fish and chips for tea! Gave Adri $35 and $35 for Mitchell’s soccer! Stayed up and watched TV for a while! Spoke to Mal. He said he will be up next Wed or Thurs. Saturday May 27 Went fishing with Bro Kelly in his boat. Caught 32 fish. 28 brim 4 grunter. Mitchell and Bro Kelly caught the most. We went from about 7.30-8am – 12pm. Then went home and rested. We both fell asleep! Spoke to Shona yesterday or today I can’t remember. Sunday May 28 Went to Bro Kelly’s. Cleaned up boat and filleted fish! Also went for a long ride on 4 wheeler! Mitchell enjoyed it. Mitchell did some homework with mum! We met Jaki and Adri at Frost Mango at 4pm. Came home. I went down the beach. Early night. I Spoke to Jaki about GE Finance and child support! She reckons she will pay but I don’t believe her. I don’t want the kids to go without because of all of it! TO BE CONTINUED……. - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ COMING EVENTS NATIONAL WHITE WREATH DAY - IN REMEMBRANCE OF ALL VICTIMS OF SUICIDE 29 MAY 2008 BRISBANE, QUEENSLAND Post Office Square (270 Queen Street) Brisbane Qld. Display can be viewed all day with Commemoration Service Commencing at 12:30pm – 1:30pm Contact Fanita: 1300 766 177 or 0410 526 562 Email: white.wreath@bigpond.com PALMER, SOUTH AUSTRALIA 1pm – 3pm Palmer Pavilion, Collier Park, Palmer Contact: Janet Ph No: 0424 161 178 WOLLONGONG NSW Wollongong Spiritualist Church Dennis Road For more details Contact Fay Ph 02 4296 2376 MANDURAH, WESTERN AUSTRALIA 10 am Christchurch, Anglican Church, Sholl Street, Mandurah WA All enquiries re program & instructions on making white wreaths PH NO: 08 9535 6671, AH 08 9582 8113 Email: tcfmandurah@bigpond.com.au Up to date information will be posted on our website www.whitewreath.com under "Coming Events" listing all other Commemoration/Remembrance Services held across Australia. Suicide/mental illness affects all walks of life, all cultures and all ages regardless of whether we are rich, famous or poor. All are welcomed to attend and lay a Photograph, Flowers, Poem etc and be part of a commemoration service that for most is the first time that they are able to freely admit the loss of a loved one, friend, work colleague etc that have taken their lives by these tragic means. CONTACT HEAD OFFICE FOR MORE DETAILS OF SERVICES IN YOUR AREA PH NO 1300 766 177 OR 0410 526 562 SOCK IT TO SUICIDE First Full Week In October Mon - Fri THIS EVENT IS VERY IMPORTANT AS IT IS OUR MAJOR FUNDRAISNING EVENT AND YOUR HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATEED. MAYBE YOU COULD INVOLVE YOUR WORKPLACE, LOCAL SCHOOL, COMMUNITY CENTRE ETC. Holding the event involves workplaces, schools, social clubs, senior citizen clubs etc to wear (self supplied) coloured socks or stockings during one day of the week, and making a donation of a gold coin for the privilege. Alternatively they can purchase a Sock It To Suicide Pin for $3.00 plus postage. If you wish to purchase 20 or more pins they will come in a very well, brightly presented box of 20. We would greatly appreciate your support with this endeavour and hope it is a fun day for all. Contact Head Office for more details. - Top _________________________________________________________________________________ CORRESPONDENCE The following correspondence maybe disturbing to our readers as it is also to us. Until our Safehaven Centres are up and running we have no other alternative than to direct people to their Psychiatrist/Doctor or directly to the Emergency of a Public Hospital nearest to them. Concerned family members should insist that their loved ones are admitted to hospital and assessed over time. Suicide/mental illness is life threatening and like any other life threatening illness eg Cancer, Heart Disease should be treated as a Medical Emergency. We advocate for all Australians assisting them to receive proper and immediate help/treatment with their full permission in writing allowing us to act on their behalf in any way we see fit. However this is not as easy as it sounds as most try to cope alone, in silence and the best way they can. Hi there, I'm a recently graduated hypnotherapy student and I'm contacting you for two reasons: 1.) I'd like to ask you what you believe is the most appropriate course of action (for me to take) if one of my depressed clients threatens suicide. 2.) I'd like to know how I could go about contributing to your organization in terms of donating my time...i.e. do you need any hypnotherapists? Thank you, GP Hi Fanita Clark My name is KB, a university student at D.... (Victoria). I am commencing a journalist research course which entails an article on awareness week. I have chosen ‘depression’ in its various forms, i.e. anxiety. Postnatal, bipolar etc. The article will endeavour to present to the reader how serious this disease is and how access to help needs to be more accessible than it appears to be at present. What I am requesting is an interview with you in the near future (will advise date) to discuss some of these issue on Depression and to gain your expert opinion on such issues. If you are prepared to do so please advice and will proceed from there. (Phone or electronic interview would be fine) Hi Fanita, Thank you, And credit will be given to your organisation. After looking on the internet and talking to various people to commence this article I was horrified to see what help is available. Yes there are web sites and contacts but this is a disease that needs added attention to stop these people from harming and killing themselves. (Especially more governmental assistance/ relying on people like yourself and donations is criminal.) The story ‘desperate’ was like seeing a repeat television program. 2 to 3 weeks ago Bordertown had a( We know personally) lady with kids who had been troubled with depression for years then drove at high speed into a tree and killed herself. The doctors had told family members concerned with her state of mind that this is the type of avenue she would take. If this is the doctors answer to depression!!!!!! How can we educate the politicians and the public? Your ideas, thoughts, etc on solutions and requirements to help with mental illness would be greatly appreciated. I feel the more information etc into the public domain the better. Once again thank you Will be in touch Regards K Hi I would like to say that my sister died by suicide 3 years ago (She gassed herself in her car and was far from her first attempt which the Mental Health told us was just the actions of a bored housewife). I am still appalled by the lack of at the Mental Health System, which I had to deal with when my sister was going through depression and her several attempts. I have also had to deal with them with my youngest son and although he still needs help I refuse to go through the Mental Health System anymore (Adult or Children), especially after being told by his social worker I had no right to leave him at home on his own when he was ten whilst I went to deal with my sister who at the time was cutting her wrists. I knew he was safe, had the neighbours to go to, and thus was not put in amongst some of the sights I have had to deal with. Hi I was wondering where the event is being held in Brisbane this year. My husband suicide thirteen years ago and I have never taken part in this event. I usually find out about it on the news that night but this year I would like to partake (I THINK) Regards BW Fanita I was a self harmer many years ago and also suffered depression and an eating disorder. It took approx 3 years of intense therapy and many self harming episodes before I started to get better and I can now proudly say that I have not self harmed for 11 years, have not re-developed an eating disorder, or suffered from any kind of depression that has warranted me to go onto any medications. Through that 11 years I have experienced 3 suicide attempts by my bestest friend/soul mate to which he succeeded on the 3rd one, was married to a mentally & physically abusive partner, and had a work place injury which required spine surgery & months of rehab which was very very testing from a mental, physical & spiritual aspect. At the end of the day I got though it all without the help of any anti-depressant medications or any self harm and in regards to the injury I sustained, you would never know to look at me apart from a small scar on my back and an occasional limp if I have been walking for too long. I am now extremely mentally strong, believe that everything happens for a reason even though sometimes we don't understand why, remember that there are always people out there worse off, and use my experiences to try and help or educate people in any way that I can. I still believe that I could be beneficial to your association due to the experiences in my life as I understand the pain & suffering that so many people in society are feeling and trying to cope with. I also like to believe that I am proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel as there is no denying that there were many times when I just wanted to give up. It's true when they say 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' and feel that I am a prime example. SC - Top _________________________________________________________________________________