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Directors report
White Wreath Day - 29 May In Remembrance of all Victims of Suicide is just around the corner. I urge all of you who have been affected by suicide/mental illness to join us and remember those who have died tragically and needlessly through lack of treatment, lack of understanding and lack of compassion.
Prior to Dec 1998 I knew nothing what so ever about suicide/mental illness and in December 1998 my son was diagnosed with schizophrenia, paranoia and severe depression. On 29 May 1999 he laid himself on a train track. By 24 November we were in front of Parliament House Canberra with a small group of volunteers and thousands of white wreaths representing a life lost to suicide in that year. On 24 February 2000 the White Wreath Association Inc - Action Against Suicide became an incorporated association.
On White Wreath Day hold your head up high and remember your loved one as we remember those that have died by other tragic means. Our loved ones did not die in vain, they have brought us together. As I have mentioned before there is only one race - "Humanity". Together we can help stop these continual atrocities that are occurring on our home soil.
Encourage family/carers and friends to join the White Wreath Association- Action Against Suicide
Fanita Clark
President
Thankyou's
Index Self Storage Units - for their continual support in supplying us a "Storage Unit", HMAS Melbourne, Hopgood and Ganim Laywers, Browns Plains Hotel for allowing us the use of their conference room to hold our monthly meetings, Cannon Hill K Mart Plaza Qld, The Barber Shop - Johan Steinlin for donating Display Board and stand, Logan Central Plaza, Hyperdome Shopping Centre, Arndale Shopping Centre, Hillcrest Christian College Ayr Hill Campus Clyde North Victoria, SRC, Indooroopilly Shopping Centre, Myers Centre Brisbane, Self Help Queensland Inc - For allowing us use of their Rooms and for the use of their photocopier, Toowong Shopping Village, Mr Recharge Underwood Qld - for artwork and printing of material, Capalaba Central Shopping Centre.
A special "Thank You" to Zupps - Roger Farrell General Manager for supporting us by providing a vehicle to enable us to travel to the many places we attend that often involves long distance travel. We greatly appreciate your support.
THE VIEWS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS NEWSLETTER ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS
OF THE WHITE WREATH ASSOCIATION INC®
SUICIDE THE STORY OF A SURVIVOR
By Desiree Alan
(1) In Australia, 1 person every 4 hours attempts suicide. On 19 June 1990, I was one of them. I woke this particular morning to see light coming through my bedroom curtain window. I pulled the blankets up over my head. I did not want to live another day in this world. I told myself that I am really going to do it. I will die today.
I lay in bed until I heard my flat mate leave. I got up to pack all my belongings into my two bags, all that I owned in my life. I did all this as if I was in some kind of trance. I found a piece of paper and thought it was best to leave a suicide note, just details of how my parents could be notified and where my belongings could be forwarded. I then went into my flat mate's wardrobe where I knew he had his rifle waiting for me. I took it to the bathroom and lent it on the sink vanity. I kept on telling myself you have to do this. Nobody loves you and it would be great to meet up with Corrina, my older sister who had committed suicide only 3 years ago. I was a nervous wreck by this stage so just to relax myself I went to where the liquor was. Whatever it was it was very potent and along with my negative thinking of wanting to kill myself, I can only remember walking down the hallway to the bathroom. The rest is a blur but I know I held that rifle to my head and shot myself thinking I would never see this world or be in it again. But I am here, however I cannot see it, smell it or taste it. However I am very glad to be alive today.
This suicide attempt of mine did not just happen overnight. It was happening over many months of losing my self-esteem and confidence and of feeling rejected. Having just moved into a new city and making a few key friends had been great. At first I had been very excited and loving my new life in Surfers Paradise. After many months of holidaying and spending all my money reality set in. I needed to find employment. After all the interviews, questions and rejections I was unable to get a simple job. My positiveness was burned out. Months went by and I felt inadequate and I had no confidence within myself. I started to withdraw from my friends, as I did not want them to see this ugly side to me. I didn't have the spark and happiness I always had. I did not like this deflated person that I had become. Therefore I bottled up all my emotions and feelings thinking that nobody cared. A lot of negative input was happening which was driving me crazy. At this stage of my life I was now facing depression, the lowest of lows and I did not know that I was very mentally sick. It was a very scary feeling getting dragged into the black hole. I was no longer in control of my life.
After all the good nurses and doctors saved my life they found out with a number of blood tests that I have Bipolar Mental Disorder. It is a chemical imbalance of the brain. If I had only opened my eyes and sought help. I could have been put right with just taking some lithium tablets each day. It would have made my severe mood swing more level. Now when I remember the last three years of my life there were series of hyperactivity and fewer depressions. We can all make it through the bad times if only we think right.
(2) I was in intensive care on a life support system and after three weeks of being unconscious, I came to. I heard the male voice of my doctor tell me that the damage to my eyes was severe and I would never see
again. Those words hit me so badly. I'm alive. I did not succeed. I wanted more than ever to be dead.
These things happen for reasons…I knew that it was not going to be an easy ride to rehabilitation when they discharged me from the Gold Coast Hospital and transferred me to the Princess Alexandra Hospital to the Head Injury Dept. This was where all my rehabilitation work would be done, road to recovery. I felt lonely and isolated in my new dark world, not knowing anyone in Brisbane to come and even visit me made it worse. In these next 2 months of being hospitalised I had too much time to think lying on my bed. The endless questions of what am I going to do with my life now? Where am I going to live? Who will employ me? It all seemed so negative. With my arms out stretched I would find my doorway and venture out to the long corridor. I would stop and listen. What I heard in this Head Injury Dept. shook me up and really made me take a look at myself. I could hear wheel chairs going past, a person on crutches and even people trying to make conversation by yelling. They could not communicate as they had head injuries. That's when I said to myself "Desiree you are only blind, with no sense of smell or taste. You have two good arms, two good legs and you can walk. Why not just go and show the world that you can do it and make a life out of what you have. You are so lucky not to have brain damage and you can do it." One of life's' most difficult decisions is deciding which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn. I knew I was then and now ready to cross many new bridges with a new zest in life and I wanted to burn all my negative thoughts and turn them around to positive ones. With that important decision I felt stronger than ever in my new blind life, no more suicidal thoughts. My medication was working.
What has worked for me throughout my ordeal was having a dear friend and now love of my life called Clayton to visit me and feed me with his positiveness. He would take the time for me to go out for day trips out of hospital to break me in so as to speak, with the real world because I was unable to see or even smell the atmosphere. He is still with me to this day and I love him. I have always made the time to listen to motivational tapes to pick my thinking up. I have grown in so many ways with all the tapes I've listened to. It's a must. I then learned the power of exercise and what it has done for me mentally and physically. I did not want to become a big fat blind blimp, knowing that if I did not do some type of exercise I would. I discovered a gym in January of 2001 called the "Sporting Wheelies", a fantastic gym for disabled persons. I still go now, twice a week religiously. To work off my tensions and pressures of day-to-day life is taken away from working out at my gym for an hour and a half. It's like a natural high. I have now discovered what endorphin's are. Only with exercise will you know what they do. You feel on top of the world and that's where I prefer to be nowadays. To compete in judo tournaments mean everything to me. It's a great challenge to be up there and to fight what I used to have, sighted judo players. I train long and hard for both swimming and judo but what it has taught me is that I am not handicapped but handicapable. I am determined to some day represent Australia in swimming or judo, perhaps both. Just by thinking right we all can pull ourselves out of a rut, face challenges like I have and jump over all those obstacles that seem to be staring us in the face. I have found that setting myself goals in life and to aim high in what I do works for me. With my love of judo I am determined to get my black belt. I do not wish to start something and not finish it properly. My goal to make the Para Olympic swimming team is great. These two goals of mine are the greatest in my life at the moment and by working towards my goals every day in training it makes every day a wonderful day to be in.
(3) There are tell tale signs we should look for in a person that is contemplating suicide. If all of a sudden they drop out of their social circle of friends, their confidence is lacking. They may seem to be nervous and not able to make eye contact with the other person or they find it hard to hold a conversation. They may suddenly gain or drop weight. They are only a few of the major symptoms of feeling terribly low with oneself and are a cry for help. A nice friendly way to approach a friend or person you know in this type of situation to help would be to talk to them easily and friendly and to suggest they may see a doctor or a welfare officer to talk their way through their problem. I found the best way for me was to speak to a psychiatrist to release myself - uncork my bottle so as to speak. We all need a person to talk to at these desperate times in our lives before it's too late. Do not ignore your daughter, son or loved one at their crucial time of life. They may seem very within themselves and very distant but depression however deep set will not just erase itself. We need to persist in every way to these people to show them that they do have a purpose in life and we do love and care for them. By buying him or her motivational books or tapes to listen to will be a great help to lift their thinking just a bit more. Get them out to see some of the beauty in nature like the beach or park, to fill their lungs with fresh air. Slowly that dark cloud will disappear with time and perseverance. Nothing is worth suicide.
I have written a book called "My Life in the Dark". It comes from the heart and deals with not knowing and not wanting to accept that I was mentally ill. I share all the days where I wanted to take my life but did not succeed. I thank God for that now. I write of how I had to reconstruct my new life being blind and to make it a positive and more fulfilling life. By listening to motivational tapes and my love of sport have really helped my zest for life. I hope my book will help some of you as it has helped me by sharing it with you.
I leave you with my favourite saying by Winston Churchill. "Never give up."
P.S MY 15 YEAR OLD TV BROKE DOWN AND I CONTACTED FANITA TO FIND OUT IF SHE COULD HELP ME OUT. BEFORE I KNEW IT A NEW TV WAS DELIVERED AND INSTALLED. I AM TOTALLY BLIND BUT I STILL LISTEN TO CERTAN TV PROGRAMMES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. DESIREE
IMPORTANT NOTICE
WE WOULD LIKE TO WARN OUR MEMBERS TO CHECK THE FINE PRINT OF THEIR LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES.
AN INSURANCE COMPANY REFUSED TO PAYOUT ONE OF OUR MEMBERS WHOSE HUSBAND SUICIDED AND WHO HAD A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY FOR MORE THAN 20 (Twenty) YEARS.
Some insurance companies and other loan companies have until recent times AND MANY STILL DO have a fine print clause somewhere in their policy/contract that Mental Illness/Suicide is excluded.
DON'T THINK THIS CAN'T HAPPEN TO YOU.
Support Group held every Tuesday 6-9pm Sunnybank Community Centre 121 Lister Street Sunnybank. All welcomed. Contact Head Office for information.
TO ALL OUR MEMBERS
Thank you to all our members that renewed their membership and welcome to all our new members. Your support helps our organisation grow in strength.
NATIONAL WHITE WREATH DAY
29 MAY YEARLY
National White Wreath Day is a day to bring together and remember all the victims of suicide remember, please join us at one of our venues on:
SATURDAY 29 MAY 2004 VENUES
BRISBANE QLD - KING GEORGE SQUARE
8AM - 4PM
OFFICAL PROCEEDINGS COMMENCING 1PM
ALL WELCOMED TO LAY PHOTOGRAPH, FLOWERS, POEM ETC
GRIFFITH NSW - GRIFFITH CITY COUNCIL LAWNS
CONTACT VAL ROWE 02 6962 3948
AS THE NEWSETTER IS COLLATED MANY WEEKS BEFORE DISTRIBUTION WE WERE UNABLE TO FINALISE DETAILS OF SERVICES AUSTRALIA/WIDE.
PLEASE CONTACT HEAD OFFICE FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
**National White Wreath Day is noted in the National Health Calendar, State Calendars, Council Calendars and Amcal Calendar however the Queensland Health Calendar has the incorrect date shown on the hard copy version of the Calendar but has corrected the date on their website.
Copy Paper A4 Envelopes
Stamps (any denomination) Sponsorship (discuss with us)
Extension Lead White Sheets (new or second-hand that we may use as table cloths)
Artificial flowers any colour
OR YOU MAY LIKE TO DONATE
1.Via our credit card facility posted on our website www.whitewreath.com then follow the instruction.
2. Directly into any Commonwealth Bank Account Name White Wreath Association Inc
BSB No 06 4184 Account No 10253519
3. Cheque/Money Order to White Wreath Association Inc and mailed to PO Box 1078 Browns Plains Qld 4118
GUEST BOOK
8/1/2004 Endicott A very close friend, Skeeter took his own life on 29/12/03. I'm still hoping this is one big nightmare.
17/1/2004 Brisbane Qld I was never really aware of the "White Wreath" organisation until the harsh reality of seeing the wreaths placed in the middle of a local shopping centre. I think that it is great that such an important issue be addressed. For those contemplating suicide - they should look and think about what they are leaving behind - think about tomorrow - just one day could change everything.
20/1/2004 Melbourne Vic My father took his life on June 26th, 2003 - two weeks after turning 65 and celebrating 40 years of marriage. I have not found much in Australia in the way of support specifically for those left behind after a loved one has suicided. I have now discovered White Wreath Association and hope to become involved as much as possible. Anyway I can in raising awareness of this tragic epidemic. I tried the chat room, but unfortunately no one was on. Anyway I look forward to my association with White Wreath and I hope that in some way it will help me to heal.
29/1/2004 Maine USA Hi, my cousin Nick committed suicide this past June. It was the day before my high school graduation. He was 16 years old, and a sophmore in high school. We were very close, and it struck me like a ton of bricks when I was told what happened. He was supposed to go to my graduation, but I guess that he felt that when he saw me at the final assembly it was good enough for him. He was planning to go to college at the same school that I am going to. He had great hopes of becoming a director someday and he was a great writer. I still don't understand why he did what he did. I wake up everyday and go to bed every night blaming myself for what happened. I just wonder when the pain will ease. If anyone has any advice for me, please let me know. Thank you for having a site that I know that I am not alone…
29/1/2004 Maryland USA I came to your site to honour those who have gone due to suicide. We have several members in our Support Groups from Australia and New Zealand and I know that they are involved with this association. My heart goes out to you all lost to suicide. I lost my son in March 2002. I wish we could end this terrible disease called suicide. Bravo to those of you involved with the White Wreath group.
30/1/2004 Bali Nice site
30/1/2004 Brisbane Qld I found this website through our local pamphlet. I lost my brother S***** 1st November 2002 at 28 years of age. S***** felt that there was no hope for him as two last medications left had more side affect problems. I hope I can help you understand how hard for S***** to live with the voices. S***** was so caring and thoughtful even when he passed away. Anyone going through suicide attempts hopefully will see you are not alone & we would like to help prevent & make life better for you. Thanks for providing this site. I try to keep my chin up and be positive, as that was what made S***** proud of me.
3/2/2004 Brisbane Qld I am a 35 year old male and having had bi polar since the age of 15 now 20 years. And having been in and out of hospital so many times and having seen my best mate hanging from a beam I can understand the frustrations that so many people face not only the growing number of us with mental illness but also their family and friends. I am one of the lucky ones I don't suffer anymore. I enjoy every minute of it. If it wasn't for my illness I wouldn't be as strong as I am today nor would I have met the amazing people that helped me to overcome it. I look forward to helping out in anyway I can. Best wishes.
14/2/2004 Northern NSW My husband committed suicide in April 2003. I remember my daughter contacting your group to make enquires about the laying of a wreath in Brisbane, in his name last year. It was too soon after the event and I felt I just couldn't make it. But one of her good friends laid a wreath in his name in Sydney. She said everyone was so supportive and friendly. Thank you for that. I really hope this year I can come to Brisbane.
14/2/2004 Brisbane I just want to say congratulations for this excellent site for such a serious issue. I have been cutting myself for two years now (I'm 16) as a way to deal with everything. My friend was just recently put in a mental hospital because of a suicide attempt and has been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I see so many people at my school unhappy and showing signs that something is upsetting them. Even though some of them maybe in grades below me, I try to talk to them, just to let them know if it gets to hard for them to deal with everything that they have someone to come and talk to. For anyone reading this and dismissing a friend's claims of depression or worthlessness…DON'T! Just letting them know they have someone out there willing to listen to them will make them feel so much better. You might even save a life.
15/2/2004 Brisbane I would like to say what you're doing is wonderful, and I can't wait to join this cause.
16/2/2004 Brisbane I have just read the Day M****** Died story. It was a great surprise to me. I used to live with M****** when I was 20/21. I have told many funny stories about him. Not knowing he had taken his own life. Though until it happens it is not something one expects. Especially from someone as intelligent, handsome and loving as M******. We all have a breaking point I guess. I am still trying to get my head around it. Fate also had it that I know this wonderful man is no longer with us. I put off going to a shopping centre for 2 weeks. To walk into the entrance and see M****** photo looking at me. It was a huge punch in the guts. I was in a shopping centre that is always packed and I just couldn't conceal my anguish. To know I had actually conversations with him about suicide guts me. I just want his sister to know if she is interested in contacting me I would love to talk to her. I consider this to be a hurt that will never go away, though I really hope that in time it eases considerably. I spoke to a volunteer who said my details would be forwarded to M****** sister. I am really sorry, I know I have met you, but I do not remember your name. It is probably vice versa
8/3/2004 Bell Bay Tasmania Terrific site. Very informative. Will recommend this site to all I know that need help. Keep up the good work.
11/3/2004 Lancaster SC I lost my gay husband, son and dog to suicide. My husband shot himself, my son hung himself and my dog jumped out of the car window. My husband died on Valentines Day, my son died on Easter, and my dog died on Mothers Day I don't know what to do. Please help me.
15/3/2004 Darwin NT The love and caring that is at the roots of this organization is evident in the fruit it's produced! Thank you for sharing your time and selves with others in this way. There are Angels in the world it seems!
26/3/2004 Brisbane Qld I lost my brother on Australia day this year. He was only 26 years old. I miss him very much and feel so sad and particularly guilty because I didn't see the signs. I am a nurse who cares for patients with depression, but I failed my brother. I am told by many that it didn't happen because of my lack of action but I feel that if I could have reached out it may have been the stepping stone he needed. I will never know. I am slowly accepting his death and I feel that I want to be able to help others that are contemplating suicide. I have just found out about this organization today. ( 8 weeks after the fact ) which goes to show public awareness is very little. When I am ready I intend to contact the organisation and volunteer anyway I can.
4/4/2004 Brisbane Qld I am 26 years old and have tried many suicide attempts since I was 18. I am determined to never try it again but sometimes the pain of depression is so strong I am scared I will try again and I will be successful. I am beginning to see that there is some hope in the world. I am going to support your organisation in anyway I can as people need to be educated about suicide prevention.
EMAILS
Hi,
I lost my 17 year old niece to suicide by hanging on the 13th November 2002. I live in Sydney's Western suburbs and I would be happy to hand out pamphlets sell things etc for this great cause in making people more aware and in trying to prevent more suicides. It's an epidemic!!!!! And I feel people need to know this.
I will help if I can.
I HAVE JUST BEEN READING OVER YOUR WEB SITE AFTER PURCHASING SOME ITEMS AT WOODRIDGE AND I SEE THAT YOU NEED VOLUNTEERS. IF IT IS NOT A STRANGE QUESTION DO YOU NEED ANYMORE WREATHS MADE. I WAS ALSO TALKING TO A YEAR 12 SCHOOL LEAVER LAST WEEK AND SHE SAID THAT THE SUICIDE RATE IS VERY HIGH AMONGST YEAR 12 STUDENTS. I WILL BE DOING MY PART THIS YEAR AS PART OF A MINISTRY TEAM WE WILL BE GOING INTO SCHOOLS TO TALK TO THE KIDS ABOUT POSITIVE WAYS TO OVERCOME THEIR PROBLEMS. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK IT IS VERY MUCH NEEDED.
I was emailing you as I am part of a small group organising a youth event set for the 14th February 2004 (Valentines Day).
Our main cause for organising this event was to raise the awareness of the problem of youth suicide and self-harm.
This is something we all feel strongly about and we would be honoured if we could donate all the proceeds to the white wreath foundation.
Emails Continued…
Thanks for you time.
Please reply
And keep doing a super job.
I don't know what to write, I don't want to become one of the faces on your site but I'm so scared that I am so close to it. Twice in less than 12 months I have been seconds from death and so many other times I have tried with lesser success from overdoses. I need help but the system won't help me. My psych says I have schizophrenia, the hospital psych who abused me says I have no mental and just personality problems and therefore they believe him and won't treat me. I feel like they want me to die sometimes just so I'm no longer their problem. I don't know why I'm writing but I thought I'd try and ask for some help or advice or something. I'm from north Brisbane.
I spoke to a few months ago and am yet to send my membership money, but it will be done. If you don't remember me, I live in Mt Gambier and my friend Aaron hung himself on the 2nd of October and then my brother did on the 17th. Mt Gambier has started up a group against suicide but these people are all government and do not have the first clue about suicide and there is only one youth attending these meetings, ME!!!. I am not impressed with these people and am taking to the next meeting a huge group of youth to show them that just because they work for the government it doesn't mean they know anything about suicide. I would appreciate if you could send some of your information and anything that you can provide me with, for this group. They REALLY need it.
Thankyou very much
Thanks your newsletter, which I have read and will pass on to other people who may be interested, comforted and maybe inspired to do something to help prevent suicides. There are many ways to promote, protect and preserve life.
My mother took her own life 32 years ago. The stigma created silence and it took me 15 years to be given permission to feel directly my own responses to her tragic death. She was such a beautiful woman and I will always feel blessed to have been her only daughter. The period of silent grief was so destructive, my unconscious expectation of abandonment caused many painful events.
Healing has occurred at last. Iris Bolton's words were helpful "Talk about it, and look for the gift"
I have found many gifts, am passionate about life and our connections to each other.
May I recommend the Living Works ASIST program for anyone who wants to understand suicide first aid.
Daffodil
Emails Continued…
To whom it may concern,
I am a student social councillor from ….. State High School. As the leader from the social committee, it is my job to raise awareness projects that I feel effect the students of my school and suicide is one of them. I can see the increase in self-mutilation in my peers alone, not taking into consideration the other 600 students attending this school. I've known of several of my friends and class members attempting suicide, some with successes. Unfortunately, this is an issue that effects many of the people in the school and even myself, personally. I'm writing in request, that you might know of someone or an organization that could speak to the students of this school. I feel that mentoring to these students would be very beneficial, due to the high amount of 'cutters' enrolled.
Thankyou so much,
………………….
(Social Action Group)
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I was wondering why there are not more recent press releases - i was reading an article a few weeks ago in either the Courier or Bulletin (my memory is not so good now) that death by suicide with young people now has overtaken car accidents. I was always worried with my three children about them being in a car accident - as there have been quite a few young ones in the area of Byron Bay die from this - never did i think that suicide was something to be too concerned about.
Also i have recently been made aware of an article and a documentary that those who lose a loved one to suicide , especially under 18 are themselves at great risk of committing suicide and debilitating stress.
Mother of B***** - suicided Aug 6 2003 - 17 yrs
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Hi.
As a group of six Batchelor of Teaching students at the University of …., we are considering the organisation of a public arts event based around mental illness, in line with the concerns highlighted by your association.
Our attention was drawn to White Wreath Day as it is posted on the Launceston City Council calendar of events.
We are interested in your view of us conducting an event in the Launceston Mall on the 29th May and referring to White Wreath Day as its focus.
At this stage we have not identified any other organised events in the region.
Raising community awareness of available support for people suffering mental illness will be the main objective.
We are in communication with school and community organisations to establish support for such an event.
Dear Fanita
I attended Rotary's Mental Health Forum last week and would like to thankyou for the useful information you provided on the work you do in White Wreath.
Regards
(student of Ashby Allan Counselling Faculty)
I have just discovered your website by browsing through the net this morning and feel that I have found an association that I can identify with more than any other since my son Michael took his life on March 24 2003.
It is incredibly comforting to not feel isolated and alone as a bereaved parent and your newsletter has given me some small insight into the enormity of the problem of depression and mental illness in our society and how poorly it is dealt with.
Emails Continued…
I would like to become a member of White Wreath as I have felt very strongly over the past year that I need to "do something" but have not been sure what it is I need to do. I still don't have the answer to this but by joining an association that deals with these issues as you do would be a good start.
I went to your membership page but do not know how to log in - could you give me some assistance please.
Kind regards,
I'm exceedingly sorry to say, that the staff of our school have a very different view of our students and what they need to hear. Our guidance officer has rejected my proposal for a guest speaker all together, not just yourself. It seems to me, over the past few weeks I've found, that our councillors are turning a blind eye to matters that are the most important. I believe that it's also a jealously issue... the councillors haven't had much luck getting through to students that mutilate/attempt suicide/witness. It is my immense displeasure to let you know that speaking to the students cannot to forth.
However, on a more positive note, the school is still allowing us to sell pens and ribbons if that is still possible.
I don't understand why the school hinders such an important issue from the students and I'm really not happy with their decision on the matter. Nevertheless... it was worth a try.
Thankyou for everything, I look forward to keeping in touch.
Regards,
To whom it may concern
I have a series of photos taken at last year's event in KG square that I have made into a sequence with a soundtrack. It runs on any PC as a exe program. It depicts the event from the City hall clock tower and also close-up with a couple of shots of the memorial messages left on the ground that day.
As a member of the Australian Photographic Society and a long-time camera enthusiast I would like to enter this audiovisual sequence into 2 upcoming competitions - the S E Queensland salon and the APS Autumn national - each with a limited audience.
I have taken care that the few images showing faces are unclear so that they are not recognisable, and believe that the material that was on public display on that day has been treated with suitable sensitivity. It was in the public domain on that occasion and might just as well have been the subject of newsreel footage.
I'm happy to let your organisation view the images prior to submitting them into these competitions and take advice on whether my treatment is appropriate.
I'm also happy to provide a copy of the sequence (and other images taken on the day) for use by the White Wreath Association Inc for your own purposes.
Please contact me as soon as possible.
Regards
Hello,
I have had my own daughter attempt suicide on two occasions during times of depression as a young adult. That was 10 years ago and she has managed to get on with her life, although is pretty much a workaholic and
Emails Continued…
just keeps moving!!! She at least is aware of this and knows how to go about gaining support when she needs it but it is always a worry in the back of my mind of course.
Recently my dearest friend's 22 year old son hung himself. Our kids all grew up together and he was the most compassionate, loving young man and a great friend to us all. We have all talked and talked and talked about possible clues and reasons but of course we can't come up with any reassuring, concrete answers.
It is almost a year now and my friend found your web site quite by chance last week. It is giving her so much strength and support. In being a friend to her and in supporting my own family, I am also finding it invaluable. Thankyou.
I hope in some small way through having this information available that we can raise some awareness even if it is simply within our circles of friends, work colleagues and family. I recently listened to a father when relating a suicide of a friend's son (who had a degenerative physical disability) that it was a "Coward's way out"! Well, I was so disappointed with myself that I didn't step in and tell him that was not the case but I understand this is such a common attitude (would even had been mine at a time in my life before). Next time I will be prepared.
We would like to make a small donation or join. Having trouble downloading JAVA and am not the most technical person. Is there some other way of joining apart from online?
Best regards
I am a student of ……. State High School and late last year my school, and more directly my grade 11 group were saddened by another victim to suicide.
I was in the city one day, when I noticed a lady selling miniature white wreaths as well as a few other products you can buy. It came to me that this would be a great idea to bring this worthwhile cause to my school. Not only would it help raise funds for your charity, but improve awareness about this serious issue, and maybe bring some condolence to our friend who committed suicide late last year.
I have discussed this with the leadership team at school, and while not yet deciding on a way to help we have come up with an idea of turning our annual cross country event into a charity fun run. This would entail each participant to raise funds for the run, much like sponsorship. We would also have a sausage sizzle after the run with all money going into your charity. I would also like to know if there is any chance of getting some merchandise to sell at our school during lunchtimes.
Anticipating your replyJ
Belinda's story
ust started speaking with something that, reckon's they are Dave & Max. Say they are `bad' ones when asked. Getting pissed off because I'm writing & not talking. Am not getting pissed off! they say. Then others, answer to Ann & Genges, say Max & Dave are not involved. Then they tell me that they `made up' the names Ann & Genges - stole a few people's histories, made them interesting. - am not sure if I want to keep talking with source's that have lied to me, they seem to think it's funny. Wonder if my brain actually has the capacity to talk to itself. Just heard `thanks' over the radio. Why anyone, let alone any religious figure, would want to speak with me. I've no idea. It boggles the mind!!
Strange. But I used to see heaps of things. Especially if I'd had a boot or 2. I remember 1 chick I saw, she said her name was `Ann Robinson'. Now I've got no idea about History books say but when I first heard this chick I was apparently speaking with J.C - the big cheese's son > see over for details - I offended him at some stage by saying that I didn't believe he ever lived and that the bible was just a group of old men sitting around drinking writing stories. Then I heard this female voice calling `Ann Robinson then a year date which I can't remember (but BC anyway)" will you talk to me"
`Yeah, how are you?' I ventured, then JC butts in and says `No don't speak to anyone else but me or you'll be in trouble"
And I'm not sure how dumb it was of me to say `Don't be stupid, of course I'll talk to a chick from back that far. Then I shifted/or they shifted) & the `light eyes' moved from one set to another behind my eyelids & I met `Ann' who was to become to me at various stages a friend, enemy or angel/ demon/s making her up.
NB - Don't worry, if there is someone/something to find & punish for what I went through I promise here to find them one day to even the score. Ann, - who is probably (even be) a number of sources at once, - told me she had been Cleopatra (which is a coincidence
Just beginning to write this account of the last year of my life causes my breathing to speed up and I feel as though someone is squeezing my chest. I am speeding again. I'm also partially stoned. I am addicted to both pot and goey. It is at times like these that I feel I am at my most creative. I am also in my best humour when I use. It's amazing how much brighter & more inviting the world is on the other side of piercing my arm with a needle. I use speed mostly as a form of pain relief. The pain of life I refer to it as. I never used to experience the pain of life as I do now.
When I woke up in the Belmont hospital one day in February this year and my environment had been completely removed of `voices' & other `abnormal' phenomena, I got my first prolonged exposure to the `real' world I had gradually left behind 7-8 months earlier and I realized that I had become a totally different person.
It wasn't as though the voices and messages just stopped automatically the moment I had my first antipsychotic injection it actually took about a week. I'll back up a little bit. I was admitted to the Belmont psychiatric hospital under police escort in an ambulance that my family had called when they returned from a holiday (at our family house at Stradbroke Island) to find me in a complete psychotic state. My memories of the 8 months preceding waking up in the Belmont that February morning remain fractured and incomplete. I'm not sure if there were times I actually removed my mind from what was happening to me & therefore have no recollection of some events or if for whatever reason my mind has blocked out my memories. I have considered the added hurdle (in remembering) of my altered perception of reality during this 8 mths of my life. I remember certain events where I was actually unaware that there was real people around me and instead was living out a very different reality. In other words, the way I remember various happenings in my saga is not necessarily congruent with the memories (of the same events) of the people who had to live with or come into contact with me. As I sit here contemplating where to start my regurgitation of tales my stomach begins to knot and my breathing (and I suppose my heart rate) speeds up again. One of the many mild panic attacks I experience from day to day regardless of whether I'm speeding, stoned or perfectly straight. I believe panic attacks are kind of like the body's way of preparing one for a `fight or flight' situation. The added adrenalin is released in the body to enhance the body's ability to deal with a stressful, dangerous, frightening or difficult impending event. Or so I've heard. I believe the `not so mild' panic attacks which I would have probably experienced & continue to experience in small doses but on an intermittently regular basis and then for prolonged periods on odd occasions, are some form of a post-traumatic stress effect. I have noted that when I begin to think or talk about my experiences during my `psychosis' (I use the term loosely) I am sub-consciously reinforcing to myself that the nightmare is over now and that I'm better equipped to handle any interruptions to my sanity than I ever was before. It's as though I am fearful of the possibility of it all happening to me again but am just as scared of facing what actually did happen. With each new memory that I regain (as I have been for quite a while now) brings with it often new & greater levels of shame, guilt & unhappiness with the world. I don't sit and think about the 8 mth psychotic chapter in my life as a rule, in fact I spend a fair amount of energy focusing my mind on other (sometimes constructive & sometimes not) endeavours.
To be continued..........................
There comes a time in your life when you realise that if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever. You realise that if you fall and stay down, life will pass you by.
Life's circumstances are not always what you might wish them to be. The pattern of life does not necessarily go as planned. Beyond any understanding, you may at times be led in different directions than you ever imagined, dreamed, or designed. Yet if you had never put in any effort into choosing a path or trying to carry out your dream, then perhaps you would have no direction at all.
Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction your life has taken, accept the fact that there is a path before you now. Shake off the "Why's" and "What if's," and rid yourself of confusion. The past has our beautiful memories. The future is yet to be realised. Today is here.
Walk your path one step at a time - with courage, faith and determination. Keep your head up, and cast your dreams to the stars. Soon your steps will become firm and your footing will be solid again. A path that you never imagined will become the most comfortable direction you could now hope to follow.
Keep your belief in yourself and walk into your new journey. You will find it magnificent, spectacular, and beyond your wildest imaginings.
Sent in by a member
Ian's Story
My husband was 56 when on 26 April 2003 my eldest daughter found him hanging in the shed behind our small store.
We briefly encountered the demons of depression in 1992 when Ian was treated badly in a business deal. He always thought a man's word was his bond, the same with a handshake. But it wasn't. He received counselling and we made it through. Though no one actually told us he had depression, I know that I didn't know. How naive was I? I had never encountered it before.
Ten years later towards the end of 2002 Ian's nerve deafness gradually started to become worse. He so badly wanted it corrected with the help of new technology in hearing aids, so he could hear everything at our daughters wedding in Feb 2003. Unfortunately it didn't happen and all our expectations went out the door. For the first time since 1992 I could see him slipping away from me. For 2 weeks he withdrew from his friends, this wasn't the happy, confident man I loved. Again it passed.
On our daughter's wedding day it was a wonderful day, he said it was one of the best days of his life. As well as all this happening, we also were having trouble in our workplace. This incident was the final straw for Ian. Again he trusted someone, and again it backfired. No wonder I'm so cynical these days.
Ian's first attempt at hanging was the day before Good Friday 2003, it was at work and the rope broke. He fell to the ground distraught and absolutely humiliated and ashamed that he could do this to his family. He said, "I love you all so much, how could I do this to you?" He could not remember the attempt nor feel the rope burn around his neck.
On being admitted to hospital for 48 hours I discovered Ian's doctor knew he had suicidal tendencies, as he was advised of this by a psychologist who saw Ian only 4 days before. Yet nothing was done to advise Ian of this fact. Lack of duty of care as far as I'm concerned.
A week after the failed attempt he was successful, again at our shop. Like lots of people, I complained profusely about lack of follow up care for Ian. No-one to my knowledge rang him to check on his welfare, I was told nothing, about who to call should I need help, but then I suppose I shouldn't find that totally surprising!! The weekend Ian died, there were also 3 other hangings in our area. Maybe the tragedy of suicide has to affect those in control of our health system, before they really take it seriously.
PETER NEAME - RESEARCH OFFICER - WHITE WREATH ASSOC INC
Reform of the Mental Health System in Australia in the 1980s & 1990s hit all the hot buttons. `Human Rights'. `Community Care'. `End of the Stigma'. `Self Reliance'. `More Normal Lives'. There were to be no more men in white coats to whisk away the family embarrassment in the middle of the night. No more lingering, living deaths behind high walls. No more padded cells. No more people strapped to benches and convulsed by electricity. You could throw away the straight-jackets. The nightmare of mental illness was over. Ken Kesey's `Nurse Ratched' was out of a job. People with mental illness were to walk free.
They walked all right, many of them to premature deaths. During that short march to the promised psychiatric paradise, the annual number of fatalities has doubled. In the larger states, it may have quadrupled.
About 400 mentally ill patients throughout Australia - most of them aged in their 20s and 30s - will commit suicide this year because the places that once treated them have been closed or downsized. They are being turned away and sent to their deaths. Duty to Care, a landmark West Australian study that recorded this growing toll, introduced the concept of `excess deaths'.
Some of these excess deaths are of other people. Brutally put, increasing numbers of those turned away are going home to kill. Murders by mentally disordered persons (to use the jargon of criminologists) - although much more rare than suicides - are running at three a month, having nearly doubled from 20 victims in 2000-2001 to 36 in 2001-2002.
If there is any good news - and a cynic may have predicted this - it is that the rising homicide toll, rather than the suicides, appears to have prompted a belated change of heart by authorities - in NSW, at least. Following an investigation into a cluster of mental health homicides in the state, undertaken by a man who can only be described as NSW Health's confidential agent, an unheralded, secret inquiry has been set up.
FROM `THE BULLETIN' Oct 7th 2003 - cover story `A National Scandal' by Hall Greenland.
_________________________________________________________________________
Recently the NSW Mental Health Sentinel Events Review Committee established their report. The following is extracts summarising some of their findings:-
Patient characteristics
Most patients had a history of mental illness, previous suicide attempts, substance abuse problems, and a diagnosis of schizophrenia, psychosis, depression or personality disorders. Many had experienced previous episodes of care in mental health facilities. Many patients had more than one problem, for instance, schizophrenia and substance abuse issues or personality disorders and malnutrition. Variable levels of family support, interaction with police and other services were also identified.
It is the view of the Committee that patients assessed at high risk of self-harm require more restrictive care and that this is consistent with the letter and intent of the Mental Health Act.
LETTERS AND REPLIES FROM WWA
PERSON IN QUESTION CONTACTED OUR ASSOCIATION AND AFTER VISITING HER GAVE US HER FULL PERMISSION IN WRITING TO ACT ON HER BEHALF IN ANYWAY WE SEE FIT. THIS PERSON ON 3 OCCOCASIONS ATTEMPTED SUICDE WHILST IN HOSPITAL. PERSON IN QUESTION INSISTED THAT SHE WAS NOT WELL ENOUGH TO BE RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL.
WHEN WILL THE MEDICAL PROFFESION USE THE KNOWLEDGE, UNDERSTANDING AND OPINIONS OF NOT ONLY THE PATIENT BUT ALSO THE LOVED ONES, CARERS, FRIENDS ECT AND WORK AS ATEAM TO HELP EACH OTHER COMBAT THIS EPIDEMIC.
PS. We are a "National Organisation" and we need to hear from you.
22 December 2003
Mr Peter Beattie
Premier of Queensland
&
Dr John Davies
Director of Mental Health Services
Logan-Beaudesert Hospital
Dear Sirs
We have heard tody from Mr Brian Ferry Registrar Logan-Beaudesert Hospital re a 24-year-old mother with 2 children aged 2 & 6 that attempted suicide on Wednesday and Thursday of last week whilst in hospital.
Mr Ferry appears to be unaware of relationships between Mental Illness, Suicide and Murder.
We have been contacted many times over the past 4 years about similar incidences where the seriousness of the situation has been downplayed sometimes with unnecessary loss of life.
We draw your attention to an article called "A National Scandal" that was in the Bulletin on 7 October 2003.
We find it sometimes very hard to break the conservative barrier of professional self-interest and total lack interest in the concerns of groups such as us who are directly in touch with families/carers of people affected by suicide/mental illness.
In every tragedy involving loss of life the following factors are common:-
1. Failure to listen to families, careers and interested parties.
2. Poor initial assessment and ongoing assessment prior to discharge.
3. Refusal to admit early
4. Inappropriate discharge.
Two precedents have been set both here and in New Zealand where professionals must be accountable.
We would also just like to note that they were paid for by the public purse.
Yours sincerely
LETTERS CONTINUED…
Fanita Clark
President
24 December 2003
Mrs Fanita Clark
President
White Wreath Association Inc
PO Box 1078
BROWNS PLAINS QLD 4118
Dear Mrs Clark
I refer to your letter of 22 December 2003. Dr Leivesley, the treating Psychiatrist of the patient to who you refer, was in charge of her treatment throughout her month-long stay. He reviewed her yesterday, the day after her discharge from Logan Hospital. He assessed her as doing well. She was not suicidal. Nor did he have concerns about the safety of her children.
While I can understand your concerns about the safety of any person who suffers impulses to self-harm, I believe that the treatment of this patient was professional and appropriate. Keeping a person in hospital is not always the best option for dealing with people who struggle with impulses to self-harm. In some cases it makes the situation worse. This is well documented in the psychiatric literature.
I must object to the tone of your letter. Dr Ferry is a competent senior registrar who is well aware of the risk factors for suicide. I believe that at Logan we have very dedicated staff who frequently work way beyond what is expected out of concern to provide the best possible treatment to clients, The inflammatory tone of your communication can only serve to make their task more difficult.
I do not accept that there is a "conservative barrier of self interest" and "total lack (of) interest" in the concerns of groups representing people with mental illness. A mental health forum is held on the first Wednesday of each month to which all community groups are invited. These groups include a variety of government and non-government agencies, consumer and carer groups and others who have an interest in mental health. If you have concerns about the Service, perhaps this would be a good forum to raise them. The next meeting is on Wednesday 4th February 2004 starting at 8.45am in the Group Room. Mental Health Unit, Logan Hospital.
Yours sincerely
Dr John Davies
Director of Mental Health Services
Logan-Beaudesert Health Services District
CC
Dr Ian Leivesley, consultant psychiatrist
Dr Susan O'Dwyer, medical superintendent
LETTERS CONTINUED…
9 January 2004
Dr John Davies
Director of Mental Health Services
PO Box 4131
LOGANHOLME DC QLD 4129
Dear Dr Davies
We do not wish to be involved in a slinging match with you and if we have offended you in any way please accept our apologies. Our first priority is for those who contact our association looking for recognition, understanding and compassion to their terrible ill health.
Enclosed is a copy of a newspaper article that I hope you find very interesting.
Kindest regards
Fanita Clark
President
Queensland Government
Dept of the Premier and Cabinet
19 January 2004
Mrs F Clark
President
White Wreath Association Inc
PO Box 1078
BROWNS PLAINS QLD 4118
Dear Mrs Clark
Thank you for your facsimile of 22 December 2003 concerning mental health issues. I have been requested to reply to you on behalf of the Office of the Premier.
You may be aware that a General election has been called for 7 February 2004 and the Government is now in the caretaker period. As such, I have forwarded a copy of your letter to the Acting director-General, Department of Health for consideration.
As the Department of Health is responsible for this matter, that Department has been requested to reply directly to you.
Yours sincerely
Dr Leo Keliher
Director-General
LETTERS CONTINUED…
LETTER TO THE EDITOR (COURIER MAIL) 12 FEBRUARY 2004 FROM FANITA CLARK PRESIDENT
The White Wreath Association has been holding displays in Brisbane shopping centres over the past 12 months and has been deeply gratified by the positive response from the public.
Two young ladies, recent past students from a Brisbane high school approached us at one of our displays and informed us of the many suicides the school had encountered over a short few years. They asked us to contact the school as they believed our display and information was most helpful. We contacted the school offering our service providing awareness of suicide/mental illness to no avail. Adults who run and operate these schools are in denial of accepting the truth that we in Australia are losing thousands of our own people annually through these terrible tragic circumstances. Wake up to yourselves and inform the children (our future) of the truth and stop sweeping the subject of suicide/mental illness under the carpet. You are the ones in denial of acceptance and the consequences of your actions are having disastrous affects on family, friends and carers.
A SPECIAL THANK YOU
Dear Fanita
I wish to thank you for a lovely day which I appreciated very much.
Myself and Ruth enjoyed the outing to O'Reilly's at Lamington National Park, starting with a picnic, followed by a walk through the beautiful walkways until the swaying bridge. I was so scared, glad that part was over, then we fed the birds, so peaceful, as I was at a very low time in my life since I lost my son. My family didn't even know, as I've tried to be really strong, but you picked up on that and advised me. Thank you. I still have my moments.
But I think we all needed that time, the 3 of us, as we have been along this road, so I speak for myself I felt closer to my son on that day, as he loved doing those things.
I hope White Wreath grows from strength to strength, and everything every one has worked so hard forwill be achieved.
Keep up the good work
Regards
MM
VOLUNTEERS
We cannot continue to do the work we have been doing without the help of volunteers. We would like to thank all the volunteers who have helped us over the years, but we still need more help!
Please contact Head Office if you are willing to assist.
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RAFFLE WINNER
Winner of our raffle drawn 13 February 2004
Green Ticket F 62
J Lewis from Belivah