Newsletters ~ Contact Us ~ Aims and Goals ~ White Wreath Day Past Services ~  Volunteers ~ Statistics ~ Members ~ Personal Stories ~ Donate/Shop ~ Guestbook ~ Thankyou ~ Directors Report ~ Press Releases ~ Correspondence ~ Advocacy ~ Coming Events ~ Sock-It-To-Suicide OUR DEEPEST SYMPATHY On behalf of the White Wreath Association Inc - Action Against Suicide I wish to express our deepest sympathy and condolences to the family of Wendy Jensen. Wendy was our Treasurer for the first 3 years of our Association. We spent many hours and days together working on the White Wreath Assoc. Wendy worked full time and still found time to come directly from work at least twice a week where we would be working on White Wreath Business until all hours of the early morning. If Wendy could not come over I would go over to her place where we continued to work. Not only did she do office work but on the days we did not get together she worked tirelessly hand making Large White Wreath and Miniature White Wreaths. Wendy was extremely dedicated to our Association and someone I will never forget. Wendy will truly be missed. Love You. Fanita & Committee Members DIRECTORS REPORT NOVEMBER 2005 The majority of people who have taken their lives tragically have died because of our ignorance. It should not matter whether we are Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, Vietnam Veterans or have Multi-cultural backgrounds. It should not matter what Religious background we come from or whether we are Gay, Lesbian or Bi Sexual. Low, Middle or High-income earners. All of us are Australians and suicide is affecting all walks of our society, all cultures and all ages regardless of whether we are rich famous or poor. We all know when we hear the word Cancer it leaves an imprint in our mind. We know it’s an illness and we also immediately think it can be fatal. We hear even more lately of Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Paranoia or Schizophrenia but it does not leave the same imprint on most of us. But let there be no doubt that these can also, like Cancer, become a fatal illness. It has been stated by academics that 1 in 4 suffer from some form of mental health problems. That equates to approx 4 million Australians. If it was any other illness there would be a national wide revolution. Lets stop being in denial and come to terms with our high suicide rate. Together we can make a difference. With knowledge, care, intelligence and genuine concern for our fellow man maybe we will be able to reduce these alarming suicide statistics. Please support “Sock-It-To-Suicide” that is held yearly in the first week of October and don’t forget White Wreath Day – In Remembrance of all Victims of Suicide held on the 29 May yearly. Help us to help you. Fanita Clark President Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead THANK YOU Index Self-Storage, Clayton UTZ Lawyers Brisbane, Zupps Hillcrest-Roger Farrell, Browns Plains Hotel, Mainfreight-Steve Fare Brisbane, Creative Plantation – Hugh Edwards, Flora Hill Secondary College Victoria, Parklands High School Burnie Tasmania, The Hutchins School Hobart Tasmania, Dockside Comedy Bar-Mark Patching, Mary Wydmuch NSW, Mark & Julie Simpson S.A, Browns Plains State High School Qld, Merele Hammil Qld for hand making our beautiful white wreaths, SPECIAL NOTE FROM THE PRESIDENT The Australian Weekend Magazine Oct 1 2005 ( Included in this issue of our Newsletter) Fanita Clark President apologises unreservedly to my husbands side of our family for the error of one sentence/phrase in the article that stated "I found out after my Mother-In-Law Suicided” This is factually incorrect and was an error by the reporter. PETER NEAME RESEARCH OFFICER WHITE WREATH ASSOC INC Martin Bryant’s father committed suicide. The young Jeff Weise, 15 years old, who shot 10 people before committing suicide in a school massacre at Red Lake, Minnesota, USA on March 24, 2005, father also committed suicide. Both had exhibited weird anti social behaviour for years before the massacre including direct threats. In Bryant’s case there were many suicide by-car attempts one which left him seriously injured and his partner dead. Bryant’s first mental health referral was at age 4 years and he is Australia’s best example of “Community Care” or “Care in the Community”. With the wholesale closure of Mental Hospitals more seriously mentally ill people are “cared for” in the prison system than anywhere else. What is the point? Society “the system” still spends the same amount on the mentally ill but they have to offend and go through the Courts to prison. Money from the mental health system has gone into lawyers’ and judges’ pockets and onto the prison system. The price for society is also a massive rise in suicide, murder-suicide, mass killing, arson, violence and sex offending. Interestingly Governments were quite pragmatic about creating beds in the 1880’s. Prisons, for example, “Hokititia Goal” were simply renamed Seaview Lunatic Asylum. By pretending mental illness is everything but a severe progressive neurological illness that is 100% caused by biological factors we have made society a much more dangerous and miserable place. Almost all the 200,000 homeless people in Australia are mentally ill, 68% of the prison population is mentally ill and although total crime has decreased violent crime has increased. Simply changing laws – bits of paper like National Mental Health Plans changes nothing. However, important mental health legislation changes must be:- a) Legislated right of access for voluntary patients b) Legislated right of admission as first line of treatment for anyone who is suicidal, claims to be suicidal or said by the friends and loved ones to be suicidal. When I first started 34 years ago – suicide meant automatic admission – now the suicide rate in young men is 400% higher. If patients can get treatment early on in their illness then they can be prevented from becoming or graduating to a forensic patient, committing suicide, or just general deterioration in their mental state. BELINDA’S STORY I digress. I am lying in bed at Mum & Dad’s house & I can calculate this due to a geographical indicator, it has probably been a couple of months since my first encounter with the ‘other side’. I have well & truly lost my grip on reality. I wake up & say good-morning to the crowd of listeners. I get various responses. One says that today is the day that I will be rewarded for my patience & all would be OK from now on. I probably respond with ‘I won’t hold my breath’. One voice says I should go & get a shot of speed. It seems like a tempting idea and one which will most likely reach fruition. A voice tells me to get up and have a shower. I refuse & am very short with them. I am then verbally counter-attacked from a multitude of angles, then I get burned. My knowledge (as it stands today after living with & learning from these spiritual entities) is that demons are tortured souls (in one story). My idea of a tortured soul – and these ideas have been thoroughly explored by me – is one of a soul that is physically/mentally tortured – which by definition is ongoing – relentless pain. I used to be in bed & envisage, with a running commentary most of the time, souls that had wings that were nailed (with nails of fire) to what appeared to be a cylindrical shaped wall. I noticed it was cylindrical because I often felt like I was running the gauntlet through the middle of it. In my mind, I guess, I would be facing these angelic-like forms—face to face, some nailed more times than others – and kind of floating past them. I noticed I could keep going sideways while rotating slightly in that direction for endless periods – this is what let me to believe that ‘hell’ or its equivalent whatever it may be is the inner side of a cylindrical …….. There was a layer of fire at the top of the cylinder which one passed through to get there. Like passing through a ring of fire. When it happened to me I was sitting on the beach (Cylinder Beach funnily enough) at Stradbroke Island with Max. I was as usual speeding off my head, as was Max as was also usual, and I had long since gotten used to trying to pretend to the ‘real’ world that I didn’t hear or feel these creatures that commentated upon my every move. Often I failed, I’d get angry that they refused to leave me alone – mentally & physically, and I’d scream & yell at people & on occasion got physically violent with people, who were often at a loss as to how to deal with me. I came out of the Toowong psych & PA psych hospitals just as looney as I went in – only more careful. I just told the doctors what they wanted to hear – which at the time didn’t seem to be the wrong thing to do. All I wanted was out. At Toowong I saw demonic apparitions for a week – (uh oh, another panic attack is setting in just writing about it – it will pass, they don’t affect me that much these days as I’m used to experiencing them). I felt like the whole world, of spirits that is, was ganging up on me and I was pretty fuckin’ scared. TO BE CONTINUED; CORRESPONDENCE Dear I accidentally stumbled across your web site. I too was a patient in Logan in 2000 after an attempted suicide by overdose. (It amazes me still how easy it was to get scripts from GPs without any questions). I attempted suicide at night and found myself still alive in a medical ward the next morning. Shortly after, just after breakfast, in swaggers a ‘2 year old doctor’ whom I had never met saying in front of my family, other patients and nursing staff, ‘that the crisis is over he can go home’. And forthwith I stormed out of the ward and made another attempt that night. (The same GP gave another script for the same medication). My suicidal thoughts began in 1999; was sent to Wacol where I was diagnosed with Social Phobia and generalized anxiety order. I was given Zoloft and shortly afterwards I started having anxiety attacks and panic attacks. They then diagnosed me with depression. The nursing staff told me to chill out, (pretty hard when you are having a panic attack). The consultant there told me to stay as far away from the hospital as possible. Shortly I was discharged still having suicidal thoughts. I went back home to western Qld and had to drive to Emerald – a 6 hour trip. The consultant there tried every anti depressant in the book. I did not know whether I was experiencing a withdrawal effect or an adverse effect. This went on for months and I was still having suicidal ideations. Anyway the nurses at Barcaldine hospital sent me to Rockhampton hospital, (without even a toothbrush and St Vinnies would not give me 10 dollars to buy toiletries). I stayed there for three months and once again we tried the spectrum of anti depressants and anti psychotics, after three months I had enough, I was still suicidal and thought that salvation might be had in southeast Qld with the support of my family. In southeast Qld my nightmare had just started. While I grappled with my illness I started a new job which slowly dragged me down to new depths of despair. I begged for help with Logan mental health who referred me to a doctor who diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder and sleep apnea. (No investigation made). I was in his office for about 10 minutes after a long night shift. He ordered me 25mg of protheidan, which combined with insomnia became a lethal mix in my line of work. Then commenced my suicide attempts three in total, (I don’t recommend carbon monoxide poisoning). After 18 months of useless treatment I switched to the private system. I was diagnosed with depression, and ordered, (wait for it), zyprexa, lithium, protheidan, Parnate, stillnox and at a later date largatil, valium, ECT and at the same C BT, not that I could remember it)… By 2002 I was starting to get a grip on things but then I was cleared for work while still taking all these drugs. Shortly after starting work my insomnia started making a comeback. But my GP said it was obvious that I could still work and CentreLink was obliged to cease my part pension cards. Then it was either work or starve with my ‘specialist’ saying he had succeeded beyond all their measures. Ever tried working in your sleep? Somehow I managed to keep working but my sleep was unpredictable as was my moods. Obviously I became grumpy and this did not sit well with my supervisor and not being able to provide assurances about my health I resigned. From 1999 I have received the following diagnoses; depression, psychotic depression, borderline personality disorder, social phobia, generalized anxiety disorder, depression with psychotic features with somatic problems, schizophrenia, (occupational axis), and my personal favourite, ‘I can’t see anything wrong with you’, (Logan mental health clinic), while at the same time a clinical nurse was saying that I could have all these at the same time. My symptoms initially - Insomnia’. My depression and duress came after all the Qld Health doctors had failed to help me with my insomnia. My job at the time - Nursing. I had destroyed my health looking after Qld Health’s patients and when I needed help they could not help me. If you ever need advise, let me know. (Last October I was accused of threatening my shrink even though I was at Pacific Fair watching a movie and then went to my parents place for an evening meal). I have asked what date and time I threatened him, but as yet he is still to tell me. Maybe he has amnesia. EF GUEST BOOK 9 August 2005 Brisbane Qld Lost my lovely 13 year old daughter earlier this year to suicide. Seems harder to deal with now than ever before. She used to visit web sites promoting suicide, we have to find a way to shut down these sites. Understand this would not have prevented her death, but may stop encouragement of others while in a fragile state. 19 August 2005 Victoria I was told of your web site today figured I give it a look. I found my partner hanging in our walk in wardrobe in March this year. Our 3 year old son was with me when I found him after we got home from his swim lesson. It’s a day I will never forget! Not only did my son lose a whole family as they blame us for his death. The day of the funeral was just as hard, no one, not even the priest came over to my son and I and we weren’t allowed to be part of the service. I feel like we never really got to say goodbye. My sister worked for his family business and was sacked. I did try to make his family part of my son’s life but they aren’t interested. When I look at my son I become so sad for him as he doesn’t understand why this has all happened. My son often tells me “its okay mummy that daddy is dead, you have a daddy and I can share him”. It eats me up inside and I have to hold back the tears for him as he becomes upset then he sees me cry. A lot of people treat us differently and at times don’t know how to talk to us or what to say. We just want to be treated the same. I feel I have learnt a lot from all of this and can see that there needs to be more awareness about suicide and depression and that it’s okay to get help and that it’s ok for men to get help. He wouldn’t let anyone help him and said paying for help was a waste of money. He just wouldn’t listen to me. The one person he did go to, a best mate told him to have another beer and get over it. The night before I asked if he had any feelings of suicide, he promised me he would never do that to our son and that he loved him. I never expected to find what I did. I wish I had realised how he really felt. 22 August 2005 Sarina Qld Hi my name is K…. You may have read on pge 22 (1^st story) about a mother named J… who lost her 17 year old daughter K… to suicide. I was friends with K… I had known her since I was young but we had lost contact once we got older. I am here to tell my story. Where do I start. I have attempted to take my life 3 times by cutting my wrists and prescription drug overdoses (anti depressant medicine I had been prescribed because I was suffering from depression). I had come to live on the streets. I was using drugs and I felt that there was nowhere or no one I could turn to. I had my family but I did not want to turn to them because I felt they did not need my problems so I tried my hardest to hide all my problems, even tried moving to the city, but that did not work out so I moved back…..back to all the problems I tried to leave. Then in November 2004 I got a phone call from my mother to inform me that K…. had suicided. It was just after my 3^rd attempt. I went to the funeral with my mother and I witnessed first hand what K…. family had already endured and what they had in the years ahead….Something just hit me like a tonne of bricks and I realized that there was no way I could put my family through that. I finally made a decision that I wanted to give up the drugs, the life that I was living and I moved home with my family. They were so supportive and helped me to start to get my life back on track, I lost all the friends I had before….but that didn’t bother me too much I was just focused on getting myself back on track. I can now say that I am happy with what I am doing now and the choices I am making. I am working full time. Not a day goes by that I do not think of K and her family and my heart will always be with K…. and just wish that she had found the help that I did before it was too late. So please if you’re reading this and you are suffering from similar feelings all I want to say is that it will get better. You may not think that people love you or that no on will miss you but you would be surprised just how many people love you and would miss you. We dearly miss you K…, Love K…. 21 September 2005 Mount Gambier On 2^nd October this year, it will be 2 years since my friend A………killed himself. I would just like to say that websites like this were just some of the things that helped me to move on. I would get so angry when people would come up and say “Oh, you knew that A…guy! Didn’t he like hang himself?” Or when they went to my sister, “Didn’t he do it cos u wuldn’t be with him?” I would turn to these sites and read all the stories of people who battle on and it makes me want to battle on. We loved A…., and he was our friend. But we didn’t pretend he has our best friend, his death affects us every day, but thanks to B….., a medium, who spoke to A….., I know now that he wants us to move on and although he wants to turn back time, he can’t. Thank you to everyone for helping me and my sister M…. move on, thank you to D…. for having a beautiful son and thank you to A…., for the time we were your friend I will never forget. FATHER’S DAY RAFFLE Ford Jacket CONGRATULATIONS to Orange C7 Wayne Szepanowski, Alderley Qld WISH LIST Stamps ,Copy Paper, Paper Clips, DL Envelopes, Volunteers Aust/Wide OR YOU MAY LIKE TO DONATE 1.Via our credit card facility posted on our Website www.whitewreath.com then follow the instruction. 2. Directly/Direct Transfer into any Westpac Bank Account Name White Wreath Association Inc BSB No 034-109 Account No 19-9741 3. Cheque/Money Order to White Wreath Association Inc and mailed to PO Box 1078 Browns Plains Qld 4118 MY GOT UP AND GO, HAS GOT UP AND WENT How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my got up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all, I am able to grin When I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden, so I’ve heard it said. But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed, With my ears in a drawer, and my teeth in a cup My eyes on the table until I wake up. As sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself, is there something else I should lay on the shelf. But I’m happy to say as I close fast my door, My friends are the same perhaps even more. When I was young, my slippers were red, I could kick up my heels right over my head, When I grew older, my slippers were blue, But still I could dance the whole night through. Now that I’m older, my slippers are black I walk to the store, and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent, My get up and go has got up and went. But I really don’t mind, when I think with a grin Of all the grand places, my get up has been. Since I have retired from life’s competition, I busy myself with complete repetition. I get up each morning and dust off my wits, Pick up the paper and read the “Obits”. If my name is missing, I know I’m not dead. THANK YOU To Browns Plains State High School Qld who kindly donated a large box of new clothing. This was shared amongst many families as far away as Tasmania who benefited from your kind support. AGM NOMINATED COMMITTEE President Fanita Clark, Treasurer Kay Roos, Secretary Mark Knipe Committee:- Peter Neame, Ivars Milnis, James Parnell, Ruth Avenell, Tina Knipe, Peter Clark