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DIRECTOR'S REPORT
This issue of our newsletter is partly dedicated to all our interstate volunteers who through their hard work and dedication organised a service on White Wreath Day 29 May 2003 in Remembrance of all Victims of Suicide. Together we bring attention to Action Against Suicide and make governments and the general public aware of the seriousness of suicide/mental illness that is plaguing our lucky country. We sincerely "Thank You All"
I would also like to express our sincere gratitude to ABC Radio National and Local Newspapers Australia/wide for covering White Wreath Day for the Victims of Suicide.
Yours sincerely
Fanita Clark
Director
Thankyou's
Index Self Storage - John Diegan, Bilo Supermarkets Runcorn Qld Stuart Devereaux - Store Mgr, Peter & Pam Burke Qld, Cathy & Leith Hughes Qld, Angie & Craig Blanch Qld, Bunnings Browns Plains Qld - Martin Vaughan, Bunnings Café Browns Plains Qld - Lorraine, West End Shopping Centre - Jane Pocock Marketing Manager, The Warehouse - Logan Central, Gateway Baptist Church - Craft Group, Logan Central - Learn a Craft Group, Logan Central Plaza Management, Logan City Centre - Melissa Lee, Petro Coffee - Logan, Inala Town Plaza - Management, Redbank Plaza Management, MC Don Machlachlan - Radio Personality, Leisel Jones - Australian Champion Swimmer our Honorary Guest at Brisbane White Wreath Day , Councilor Judy Magub, ATSIC Commissioner Robbie Williams, Commissioner Lee Johnson - Commissioner of Fire & Rescue Service, Commissioner Jim Higgins - Qld Ambulance Service, Reverend Andrew Otte - City Tabernacle Church, Salvation Army, Vietnam Veterans MC Qld Chapter, Qld Vietnam Veterans Association Representative, Griffith University SRC DisAbilities Collective, Fiona Simpson Shadow Minister for Health, Mr Bill Flynn State Member for Lockyer, Cr Margaret De Witt Pullenvale Ward, Brisbane City Council, Councilor Rita Collins McDowell Ward, Lynch Flowers Brisbane Markets Rocklea - For supplying fresh flowers for White Wreath Day,
SPECIAL THANKS
Index Self-Storage Sherwood Qld - For their continual support of donating a storage unit.
Nixon Street Primary School, Devonport Tasmania, Student Council for holding a "Casual Day" and raising funds.
Coorparoo State School, Brisbane Queensland, Student Council for holding a "Casual Day" and raising funds.
Barrett Adolescent Centre School, Staff & Students for holding a Pyjama Day and raising funds.
Financial Services- Dept of Housing Qld for holding a fundraising day.
Suncorp - Social Club Inc Brisbane for donation.
Rotary - Bardon Qld for donation.
National White Wreath Day 29th May
BRISBANE - Report from White Wreath Day 29th May 2003
Our day was very well received. Our display consists of thousands of white wreaths and hundreds of photographs. Our "Guest Speakers" included Leisel Jones Australian Champion Swimmer, Commissioner of ATSIC, Commissioner of Fire & Rescue Services, Commissioner of Emergency Services, Brisbane City Councilor, Representative City Tabernacle Baptist Church, Radio Personality as our MC and our singer Karen Smyth singing songs from the CD "Listen 2 Me" that she has kindly donated profits from the sales to the White Wreath Association Inc.
The broad range of speakers brought their stories of tragedies within their workforce and how suicide affects all walks of life, all ages and all cultures regardless of whether we are rich famous or poor. The ceremony within the service that we hold included all our Guest Speakers, Councilors, State Members, Vietnam Veterans MC, Vietnam Veterans Qld Association, Churches, Salvation Army and the public. This is the time that everyone lays Photographs, Flowers, Wreaths, Poems etc on behalf of a loved one, friend, colleague that has died by these tragic circumstances with a one minutes silence. The feedback that we receive is phenomenal in respect that it is about time that someone/organisation recognises these tragedies and is striving to make changes to the continuing atrocities that are occurring.
PERTH
Beautiful Service -
Beautiful Venue -
Beautiful Weather -
Beautiful Song - sung by a beautiful girl
Amounts to another moving Memorial Service!
It's still hard to believe that it's been over a week since the Service was held.
I had some lovely people helping me - sadly like myself they too had lost a son or brother. The week prior I had so many phone calls, mostly from people here in my area and in the hills. The big paper the "West Australian" was not able to do our story til the next day. I was very disappointed about that but I'm sure next year we will get more cover. Already I've been asked to go on radio for next year.
Geoff has taken photos and we also have had a video done which I'll send you a copy as soon as I get it from my friend.
Tiffany sang the song beautifully - she has a similar voice to Karen. People love the CD.
I have enclosed copies for you of the newspaper articles I will also send them onto Donna too.
Will be in touch.
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Just to let you know the service here yesterday was really beautiful, and very touching. Had quite a few people, my daughter, Tiffany, sang In the Arms of the Angels, a song taken off your C.D. and as a result, sold most of the C.Ds. My other daughter, Chelsea, gave a talk on losing her brother, we are only grateful that we could contribute to this worthy day. Next year will even be even bigger, as so many people have shown an interest and want to know more.
Carol did an excellent job organising every-thing, we have become good friends through all of this. Thank you once again from the bottom of my heart for this day, it was of great benefit to myself and my family. If I can be of assistance in any other way, please do not hesitate to call me.
Regards, Pat
MELBOURNE
Hello from Melbourne
Sorry about not getting to you before now but with Jan & Heather on holidays I forgot to do it. WWD was a great success in most cases. We had a very good response from passersby although not as many as last year due to Parliament not sitting. The service was very good with speakers Don Gunn, Heather Creighton, personal stories from Muareen Dean and Sue James and music from Kate Eve. Not a lot of money was raised $252 but interest is growing. After the service I had a long conversation with several invited guests including the police Superintendant ( sorry can't remember his name ) who had recently been involved with a fellow police officer who's on had just suicided. This gave him a new outlook on the seriousness of suicide and we discussed the ripple affect suicide has . One person dies but many suffer long after. I also had had talks with councillors from Nillumbik Shire ( Eltham area ) who have offered to assist in any way possible. This came about after they saw a static display in my shop window. I had the display in my window for 3 months and it raised awareness in my area so much. In all the time it was up I only had 2 people give negative feedback. If I can work it out I will forward a photo of the display for you.
Thanks Maureen
MT GAMBIER SOUTH AUSTRALIA
Well our day was (sort of) well organised and the weather remained kind to us. We arranged for the service to be held in one of Mt Gambier's parks, a different one to last year due to nearby renovations.
Our service was again conducted by the Reverend John Deer, who managed to keep things on track for us. Our guest speaker was Mr David Kelly, Co-ordinator of the South East Regional Community Health Services. He spoke about the incidence of suicide not only in the district, but also in Australia generally. He is also one of the key players locally who provide training and awareness for counselors and the like on the subject of "Suicide Intervention". We had intended to invite the local co-ordinator of Lifeline, but we didn't quite get to her. As it was we had enough speakers for the service with both Debb and Helen (step-mother of Darren, died April 2002) sharing their journeys and stories respectively.
After laying of the wreaths, John Deer finished the service with an appropriate piece of prose that he wrote himself especially for the day.
While not as well attended as last year, we did have approx 35 people there. We were aware of some people who either could not make the service due to other commitments, or were not feeling strong enough to attend. We noticed that there were three representatives (and partners) from the local council, including the Mayor, a representative from a local high school, and the wife of the local state member of parliament. There were some familiar faces from last year, and a few new faces. One man traveled 70kms from a neighbouring town to attend the service, and shared his own story with Debb.
The local TV station picked up on the story, and despite their initial statement that they could not stay (local races were on), they remained for the entire service!
Following the service, the Mayor approached us and offered to provide WWA a location in one of the city's parks, suggesting that a tree could be planted (next year's service?). They also offered to provide a plaque and seating around the area. In retrospect, it was not so much an offer, more of a "this is what we will do for you (WWA)"
This morning (Saturday) we set up a stand in the local shopping plaza, displaying the wreaths and photos, and information about WWA. Debb and Helen did most of the talking and meeting people. A lot of people stopped to read the stories, and many had stories to share about their own experiences with suicide.
Over the two days, we raised just over $270 in donations and sales of small wreaths, pens and ribbons, but more than the money, we believe we were able to reach quite a few people who perhaps are still having trouble coming to terms with the suicide of a loved one.
This morning one lady, who lost her husband to cancer 11 weeks ago, saw our small wreaths, and immediately went home to make one herself out of lace and florist wire. She is still experimenting with it, but has said (quite adamantly) that she is more than willing to help make some in this way for us here in the Mount - perhaps for next year's service. We must say that her first effort was impressive, and we await the finished product. We might even get cheeky and send you one of "ours".
Debb and I are pleased that we had help this year. Helen, her husband Ken and their daughter Erin are now staunch supporters of WWA, and have been invaluable this year with helping to organise and set up. No doubt they will play a bigger part of things as time goes on.
I hope that other centres have also had good experiences with their services, and we look forward to reading about them in the future.
Regards
Trev & Debb
SYDNEY NSW
Dear Fanita
Well, WW day in Martin Place went so well for us. I was very nervous because I wasn't sure what to expect but everything just fell in to place, which was great.
Johnathon from the Council arrived to unlock the power supply and he was such an enormous help - he showed us what you had done the year before and where everything was placed last year so we had a good head start. I could not possibly have completed the day without the wonderful help that I had - my aunty Dianne came with me (for moral support) and she ended up talking to people, sitting with our special guests keeping them entertained, security guard for the money tins etc. Also Andrea - the lady who has moved to Sydney from Brisbane - picked us up from our hotel and loaded all the stuff and drove us right to our block in Martin Place to unload and setup. She spent the day talking and praying with grieving people and she was so strong. Andrea also spoke for us, which gave the service a lovely touch as she explained how it was to be a mother who lost a teenage son, the wonderful support she received from White Wreath and the lack of support and counseling that was available to her and also her son's siblings and close friends. Andrea's 16 year old daughter Jade also helped for the day and did a wonderful job of running around and doing jobs for us and she also video taped the ceremony with my video camera.
SYDNEY NSW - Continued
We had some wonderful speakers - I'll send you the video soon, but I would like to edit it first. Do you have DVD because it's just as easy for me to make you a DVD of the day. The speakers were:
1. Dianne Beamer - Minister Juvenile Justice (on behalf of Bob Carr)
2. Clr Fabian Marsden - City of Sydney (he had no speech prepared due to crossed wires but he spoke from the heart and was great. Works as a pharmacist sees the signs & symptoms all the time etc.)
3. Eric Trezise - Founder/Chairman of Suicide Prevention Network at Central Coast (ex army, ex parliament, current chaplain & author)
4. Andrea Grogan - Mother who lost 17 year old son to suicide
5. Hon Rev Fred Nile MLC (Christian Democrat)
6. Dr Arthur Chesterfield-Evans MLC (Democrat - previously a Dr in acute medicine & mental health)
7. Major John Thorley - Salvation Army (Chaplain at RPA, also attended with his wife). Closed in prayer
I've got heaps of good ideas for next year, and I also have 4 new things to laminate for future services - 2 photos, 1 poem and I've pressed the flowers & card from Minister Beaman/Bob Carr. I've also got lots of photos and will send you copies when I get them back from the lab (I am a photographer and I mainly use digital camera and have the prints done in a lab at Victoria.)
I also have photos to put on the website and lots of little things to change but I really REALLY need the files so I can update and refresh everything and then upload the updated site with the ftp address to the WW website. Would you please be able to chase them up for me - I'm looking for the html files (offline - on somebody's computer) and folders that contain everything on the website. Whoever updates or changes things on the site must have them on their computer and without them I can't really even begin - it would take me forever!!
Well that's about it for now, I'm still trying to get it through my head because it went so well and I'm still really excited. I've got to make thank you cards, and some extra special cards for the speakers who went out of their way to share their personal lives with me in private and the ones who gave me all the extra support and encouragement everytime I was speaking on the stage - and the ones who gave me lovely hugs and even kisses before they left.
There was one nasty man who abused me and WW because he believes we were openly promoting suicide but I just ignored him and there was one guy who came asking for help, said he was suicidal - was very obviously agitated and depressed, maybe was coming off drugs, I held his hand and listened to him and then we took him to the Major from Salvation Army but he ended up taking off. I've got his phone number and I've looked up some counseling services etc in Bondi where he lives so I'm going to ring him and give him those numbers - if he really wants help then it will be in his hands, but we all know that nobody can make anybody do anything they don't want to and when he is truly ready then he will do it for himself. There were many people openly grieving for the first time - majority of them were older men in their 50's and 60's who lost their fathers so it was quite upsetting seeing them sobbing like babies but I had bought 60 white candles to take with me so Andrea stayed with them and they lit candles from her's and she prayed with them which made a huge difference to their lives - it was totally amazing to see. There were lots more of course, and lots of tears but I'm sure you know what I mean. One lady in particular was bawling - she came to the stage to talk to me after she walked through the photos & wreaths and she must have felt she had to put her sunglasses on to hide her eyes and tears because she had no idea of the extent or even the prescience of the tragedy in our community.
Well I've only got one day left before going back to work so I'm going to go and lay on the lounge and make some angels - I make them out of gold wire and beads & gemstones and they are just so gorgeous.
Love Lou XXOO
A PICK ME FROM A SUPPORTER
Hi Fanita - I was just watching something on TV and it made me think of you (although not directly asfirst)...
See, there's this thing on TV now about this woman who felt she needed a new challenge in life - you know, something more than her kids and husband etc. she decided that jumping off bridges and mountains was a way to expand herself. But I've never been all that impressed by people doing such things - you know,falling out of planes, etc. it seems to be very self-focused and does little for anyone else...
So I got to thinking about what you've been doing these last few years yourself. I thought about how, when faced with your own challenge, instead of spending time focused inward all the time, you've spent hour after hour of every day focused on other people - how to help other people and give them a life and a future. And it struck me that all that is pretty heroic - especially given that I think the challenge chose you, rather than the other way around...
And it made me realise that after this woman has finished jumping off her mountains, that's about all there is to it - but maybe even a hundred years from now people will still be benefiting from the work you're doing now... so maybe in those times when it's hard for you to keep going, that thought might help you to keep moving forward - Richard.
By Peter Neame WWA Research Officer
Sir, I agree with the proposed changes regarding removing children permanently from situations where their lives are at risk from their nearest and dearest. Legislation already exists to allow this to happen but all services, Family Services, Social Welfare, Mental Health, Criminal Justice including the Courts and Probation Services operate on the mistaken dogma that everyone who comes to their attention can be "restored" and "rehabilitated" and to compound the problem add the dogma that "discharge planning begins the day the individual comes into contact with the service."
In such a politically correct, gender and commonsense neutered environment very dangerous individuals are overlooked and the many warning signs they give, commonly years of warning, are systematically minimized, downplayed and completely overlooked. It has virtually nothing whatsoever to do with shortage of staff…..what has happened in the last 30 years is that training people, training professionals how to assess dangerousness has been ignored and replaced by another dogma "we have no way of assessing who is and who is not dangerous".
The Greeks knew how to predict dangerousness but it is tragically now a lost art and a science.
Therefore if professionals have the power to take children away but do not have training in assessing dangerousness then good parents will lose their children as already happens all around the globe. Parents who kill, who are really dangerous, probably amount to less than one in ten thousand.
99.9% of parents are excellent parents and do not need the state telling them how to discipline, educate, nurture, feed etc etc their loved ones and that is the problem that the government faces.
Get it right and the spate of murder suicides that have plagued Queensland for the last eight months could be virtually eliminated.
CHAT LINE OPERATES 9PM WEDNESDAY EVENINGS - (Eastern Standard time)
Letter from Member of White Wreath Association Inc
2/06/03
Enclosed is my donation from your "wish list". I hope from what I'm able to pledge that these will greatly benefit the White Wreath Association (Action Against Suicide). Please enjoy the affirmation cards: they'll look/go fantastic with/on your "White Wreath Assoc" fridge magnets!
Thank you kindly for your invaluable community contribution to society. W would be at a huge loss without you! (I got myself to a local hospital recently and do really/absolutely relate to a story in your newsletter about unfair inadequate treatment): all round these places called hospitals with their so called "medical psychiatric specialists" seriously need for our sages to health isn't/doesn't improve enough thanks to their unprofessional "I don't care about you" approach.
Your devoted member.
May the soft winds freshen your spirit
May the sunshine brighten your heart,
May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you,
And may God enfold you in the mantle of his love.
An Irish Blessing
We have dedicated this section as a wish list. This list is of all the things the association needs to help us along. If you can help with any of the items listed or donate anything else please let us know we would appreciate any contribution big or small.
Lectern Biro's
Microphone Writing Pads
Generator (Portable) Printer Paper
Pinboards Postage Stamps
Extension Leads Paper Clips
Power Boards Digital Camera
Portable Speakers CD Player (Portable)
WINNERS OF OUR MOTHERS DAY RAFFLE DRAWN 9 MAY 2003
1st Prize - B Venables Kingston Qld Black ticket A61
2nd Prize - G Ross Trinder Park Qld Pink ticket D 40
WHITE WREATH WEB SITE GUEST BOOK
Here are a few samples of comments made by visitors to our Web site.
USA - Good Work. Visit my first page.
Suffolk, England - I'm suicidal, and I found your website interesting thx for makin it
Sydney- I have spent the last couple of hours reading the stories on your site, and it makes me extremely sad to hear that there are so many people out there that have also lost someone close to them through suicide. I am the second eldest of a family of six boys and on the 19th of October 2001, lost my younger brother Michael, to suicide. Being an extremely close family this has taken us all some time to come to terms with but having experienced the shock, confusion, anger, anguish, depression, self doubt, and all the other mixed emotions that come with such a tragic experience, we are now putting our energy and passion into organising a fund raiser in Canberra to raise both funds and awareness for this VERY worthy cause, and in memory of our beautiful, loving brother Michael. To everyone out there that has in any way been impacted by mental illness or suicide, I pass on my deepest sympathies, and heart felt best wishes, and I welcome you all to join my family, friends, and myself in Canberra in October 2003. This event will be a celebration of `LIFE' and a means by which we can establish a local support infrastructure of `real' people with `real' experiences, and `real' empathy towards others in similar situations. Mental illness and suicide is a problem of today's society that can only be truly challenged through communication, education, support, commitment, empathy and love, and I for one am committed to ensuring that I do my part to reduce the impact that it has on our society. Love and best wishes
Queensland - The hardest part of dealing with mental illness, is the silence we all suffer in. For almost a decade I have dealt with depression, anxiety and I guess a feeling of failure. I have ended many relationships, because people just simply don't understand the overwhelming grief that fills my heart. I read with sadness the stories of people who have followed through with their suicidal urges, and the torment that stays forever with those they leave behind, and I know one day, if I don't find the help I need, my family will be writing a story about me. I have been referred to person after person, yet still, the heaviness in my heart grows. Then once it seems like there is no tomorrow, the sun shines over the clouds, and I feel like I am a survivor, (even if it lasts just for a moment) knowing however my next test is not far away. I know I will continue to fight this disease, everyday for the rest of my life, may we all be blessed with the friends and family I have that love me unconditionally. Here's to blowing the roof off the misguided opinions about suicide and mental illness. In my darkest hour, I will know I am not alone, and am with you all, in yours.
Melbourne - My daughter committed suicide on March 25th 2001 at the age of 41 years.
Brisbane - Just stopped in to find out about White Wreath Day. My last friend that killed himself was called Steve C….. There have been others. Another very good friend that took his life is Patty W…. I have had many suicide attempts and survived. I am lucky
Gold Coast - There are many sorrows and questions in the aftermath of suicide. While the tormented soul goes in search of happiness in the other world, the ones left behind have to pick up the pieces and make sense of them all. Choosing death over life takes a lot of courage and choosing life over death takes a lot of commitment. Suicide attempts are really a cry for help. Infact, people seek help from many avenues. The thing is people around either know too little to help or simply dismiss it until the sufferers attempt suicide. If you are in doubt, please seek professional help. Psychiatrists can help by prescribing appropriate medication to control the some symptoms of the illness while psychologists are trained to help by problem solving the issues. All I ask is that people are opened to utilise the professional resources and not be concerned with the stigma attached with the mental health professions. After all, mental health compliments physical well being because health lies on a continuum. Remember, health is not the absence of physical pain and suffering but the overall well being of the individual. Do not use your yardstick to determine what the sufferer needs, use his/her yardstick instead. My thoughts are with you.
NSW My father hung himself 4 weeks ago today. Unlike so many we didn't realise the depths of despair that he had fallen into. He had made one attempt only a week earlier. Doctors and ourselves thought that was his lowest point and things could only get better from here on in. He was such an outgoing, dynamic hilariously funny man. I am a Daddy's Girl and at 25 would still sit on his lap. We miss him so much and will be in our hearts forever. The hardest thing is seeing your mother go through hell. I am desperate to do more for mental health and suicide prevention but am finding courses only in capital cities…how are we meant to make a difference if you don't know where to start. My family and I have written to several newspapers and had our story printed. We do so desperately want people to know that they are not alone. Thanks for listening.
Unknown:- I lost my husband to suicide on Wednesday 30th October 2002 (and still as I type these words they seem unbelievable). He was 39 and would have been 40 in May. I got 2 sons aged 9&6 and they lost their Daddy and they miss him so much. I don't know how I feel today whether it is sad or angry it changes from day to day. I miss him lots and keep asking WHY? We were separated but still seen each other daily. My sons needed and loved him and he knew this, so how does a loving father become suicidal and not put his boys first. My 9 year old is suffering the most from this and I know that is the last person Rod meant to be hurting so I know he never really thought this threw if only he got the help he needed we would still have that special man here with us. I miss him forever and know I will never really get over this. Why?
WHITE WREATH WEB SITE GUEST BOOK - Continued
Brisbane: My sister took her own life, while travelling in Chile, 8th September, 1999. She was 39 years old and single. She was School Captain of Clayfield College in Brisbane, second to the Dux that year, an A Grade journalist with ABC, and before that the Courier Mail. She had a passion for life unknown by most people. Perhaps her overdrive hid the pain. In her last 5 years, she dropped out of conventional work, struggled to "fit-in" with mainstream life, became "not herself" inappropriate and "scary" to be around. Mental Health stuffed around too long, they stumbled and she fell, and as a family we could not catch her. We still feel the pain, her pain, our pain. But WWDay will raise awareness, and in time I firmly believe, this strangeness of strangers, will become a community care issue, and we will be better equipped to help people life Tracy, who also called herself " Meera Grace". She touched many hearts and I pray this touches yours. May God save all our souls. Matt or her nickname for me "Pom Pom".
Brisbane: To all the one's we have loved.
Brisbane: I lost my son 23 October 2000, 19 years 5 months. Today I still have my moments where I miss him like crazy. Great work Fanita, you are doing a great job with White Wreath.
New South Wales: Hey I want to thank you for what you are doing. I attempted suicide when I was 16 and am 19. I wish to die every day. I was admitted to hospital and left 2 days later. Counselling was arranged - I went once and never went back. There was no follow up. My family does not mention what happened it is as if it is a memory I have. I felt worse knowing that the hospital were so comfortable to discharge me even though I refused to tell them what I was thinking (it was as if my life really wasn't important) partly my fault of course for not telling them. My mum works at the hospital and I think my suicide was covered up for privacy and as it was easier that way. This only made me more ashamed. I know I need help but no one realises how hard it is to ask for it as everyone thinks it is attention seeking. I just want to give you a little insight from someone who knows - no matter how loved someone is they can still want to die. It is often no fault of the family or friends and sometimes the reality is that nothing will stop them. Do not blame yourself because it is not about you it is about us.
Brisbane: I keep logging into White Wreath to try to get comfort I'm living in hell as our one and only daughter Jessie hung herself from her four poster bed on the 26 April 2003 she was a gorgeous beautiful child she was seventeen it was a shocking sight to wake up to on the 27 April suicide too much something has to be done the Government should be allocating funds to help out if it happened to one of them I bet there would be money put into the budgets they do my beautiful Jessie is now a statistic I want her back this is hell and my husband sees is Jessie's face in his when he was cutting the belt from around her neck we have the rest of our lives to live with this the down side also is my twelve and fourteen year old sons saw her hanging also the fourteen year old has been put on anti depressants and sleeping pills they now sleep with the lights on in stead of the government lining their own pockets can't they assist in somehow they get rich and we lose children I'll love my Jessie till the day I die and not a day will go by without crying she was our world.
EMAILS, LETTERS AND PHONE CALLS
v My name is Christopher Abel and I work for a NSW State MP. I was touched to read of your association's remembrance day on the 29th May 2003. I had an uncle, whom I never knew, because he tragically took his own life. Although this was almost 40 years ago, it forever changed our family's life. My father was the first to enter the room after my uncle shot himself and though my father was a strong man at the time and has recovered from the trauma this incident still hurts him. My Father was also a former member of the House of Representatives and is currently serving as Senior Adviser to a Senior Federal Government MP.
As I live and work on the N.S.W's Central Coast are there any special services on the Gosford Region on the 29th May, as I would like to attend. Your advice would be appreciate
Many Thanks.
v I HAVE SEEN MY STORY ABOUT MATHEW IN THE MAY NEWSLETTER, THANKYOU VERY MUCH I HOPE PEOPLE MIGHT NOT FEEL ALONE IN THIER GRIEF OF ALL THE CONFUSING FEELINGS THEY WILL BE FEELING.ANGER, HURT, CONFUSION AND GUILT AS I HAVE AND STILL DO. I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU ARE GOING TO PUT MY STORY ON THE PERSONAL STORIES? I WILL BE WRITING ANOTHER SOON, NOT AS ANGRY IF YOU PREFER TO WAIT FOR THAT ONE. I WILL BE ATTENDING WHITE WREATH DAY IN BRISBANE AND HOPE TO MEET AND TALK WITH YOU.
v Can I help?
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Belinda and am a fully registered psychologist. I happened to be around the West End Shopping Centre where I saw a board that your organisation has put up in the centre. Those stories of anguish and distraught are not unheard of.
In my view (and most of my collegues), treatment is wholistic. We always involve the consumers, their families and carers in the treatment program. Some consumers, though, are not keen to involve their families. One possible reason is that mental illness is often swept under the carpet.
In cases of suicide attempts, it is already a known fact that such attempts are a cry for help. Men are better able to commit suicide than women because they know the most lethal ways to kill themselves and are able to execute them. I think the public mental health system is stretching to accommodate many people. However, there are many areas that your organisation as a unit can look into further causes. For instance, some psychology and psychiatry input can help people who had previously attempted suicide and the carers. I feel that choosing death over life is a big bold decision. Maybe if a professional can work through these issues with the individuals, we can get something going on a larger scale.
Please let me know if I can be of assistance.
v 4 Weeks ago today I found my father had hung himself. As expected our lives are in complete turmoil and devastation. I want to personally thank you for the fantastic work on your website. I have written in your guest book today in a bid to make others more aware.
My family and I are desperate to make people KNOW they are not alone. We have written a story about our father had it published in Lismore, Gunnedah, Moree and soon to be in Womans Day. We are also attempting the big guns like the Herald but they don't seem to want to know. We are happy to have it on your website if you are interested.
I also wondered if you have any suggestions with courses that I could look into. I found a TAFE course called Community Services and geared towards mental health, however the closest it is to me is in Brisbane (2.5 hours drive). I am so desperate to learn more and do not want my father, such a great man's life to be in vain.
Warm regards,
v Hi,
I feel there is a great need for help and public education in regards to young people who are realising a sexual attraction to children (who suffer greatly due to social condemnation). If you are able to answer any of the following questions I would be very grateful for your response.
I'm curious to learn of the sentiments that researchers, educators and health professionals have towards pedophilia (as compared to how the media and society treats it). I'd also like to know if any research is being conducted, and whether there is any specific help available to those with this sexuality?
Thank you,
A Celibate "Girl Lover"
v Thank you for notifying me of White Wreath Day. Like your members, I believe the issues of Suicide and Depression are major problems, and that the families, friends and neighbours of those bereaved by suicide have a particularly difficult situation for a long time after the tragedy.
It is intriguing timing that www.AfterSuicide.com.au is being launched on 29 or 30 May, having been in planning for almost a year. Orders to print this web address under my current free telephone suicide prevention service (Under Suicide in all 55 Australian telephone directories, and receiving 7000 calls per year) were placed 9 months ago.
Please look at my website www.HelpingAustralia.com.au for details of what I am proposing and let me know if our 2 organisations can assist each other.
With best wishes
David Horgan
v Dear Dr Horgan
The White Wreath Association Inc started from my own personal experience. The strength of the group is the fact that we bring together people who have been personally affected by suicide/mental illness.
The most important thing that I have discovered as a mother who has lost a son through suicide is that the system, ie mental health system, services generally have inbuilt gatekeeping mechanisms. This gate keeping functions to prevent early access to services and once in the service functions to put people out before they are well.
Correcting this has possibility to reduce suicide by 50%. U.S. Airforce study shows 50% reduction with early intervention.
We like what you have to say but we must maintain our independence from individual professionals or groups of professionals who don't understand what it is like to be at the receiving end.
Having said that we would like you to become a member and if you would like to write a column, anything from a paragraph to half a page for our regular newsletter that comes out quarterly and is also placed on our website.
A suggestion if you wish to take out membership and start a column is to send us a transcript of your tape and we will publish this in our next newsletter.
I shall wait to hear a reply and we will take it from there.
Kindest regards
Fanita Clark
Director
v Dear Fanita,
I am sorry so many of your members are concerned about their experiences of the medical system. Hopefully we can work together to prevent or minimize at least further similar events.
I totally agree that early and indeed intensive intervention is important. Do keep in mind that research indicates at least 3% of the population have suicidal thoughts, and worldwide it has apparently proven impossible to predict actual suicide.
However, I do believe that community members can teach professionals a huge amount.
I will email my telephone message asap for publication
Best wishes
David Horgan
v Fanita - lovely to see you this morning... sorry I didn't get to speak you
again later but I did pop back and saw much of the 'ceremony'.... I thought
Liesel did quite well. I hope you were happy with the whole thing - you
should be very proud of yourself and your family for what you're
achieving.... rk xx.
v WHITE WREATH DAY
mailto:white.wreath@bigpond.com
On behalf of Suicide Prevention Australia, I want to take this opportunity to extend our thanks for including us in your service last Thursday in King George Square and to lay a Ceremonial Wreath. It was indeed a moving service.
I wish your mission well in the future.
Please find attached some info on SPA's Healing Service on Sunday June 15 which may be of interest to your network. As will be this years National Conference in Brisbane June 12-15.
Please do not hesitate to contact me directly for any further information Fanita.
BRAD FARMER
Media | National Development Adviser
Executive Board & Life Member
Suicide Prevention Australia
v Hey, I am 14 yrs old and last week my
school held a fun day to raise money for the white wreath foundation. We
raised around $100. Students and staff all participated wonderfully and we
were extremely pleased to raise this amount. Can you please get back to me
ASAP on how we are to present you with this money? We would like it very
much if you were somehow able to come out to WACOL, Brisbane, so we could
present it to you, and then maybe you could tell us more about the
foundation?
Thanks,
Meetings of the WWA Inc are held at: Browns Plains Hotel, Browns Plains Road, BROWNS PLAINS
7:00pm, Every 1st Monday of the month
Everyone is welcome to come along
Meetings of the WWA Inc are held at:
Browns Plains Hotel, Browns Plains Road, BROWNS PLAINS
7:00pm
Every 1st Monday of the month
Everyone is welcome to come along
Dr David Horgan Consultant Psychiatrist
MB BCH BAO(DUB) MPHIL DPM MRCPSYCH FRANZCP MD(MELB)
I enclose the information given to callers on my Suicide Prevention telephone line. I think your readers will see that I share your group's concern about the importance of early intervention.
The following is the message that is transmitted to callers ringing the free Australia-wide telephone service Suicide Prevention Medical Specialist Information Pty Ltd:
Ph No. 1300 360 980 you can ring this recorded message from anywhere in Australia for the cost of a local call 25c
Hello, my name is David Horgan. I am a doctor who has specialised as a psychiatrist and you have called my free medical information service on suicide prevention and depression. This is a local call only, so please feel free to listen to the end of the tape. I hope the following information will help you or someone close to you. I must emphasise that I am providing medical information only, and I am not in any way offering individual diagnosis or treatment. However, I hope the information on this message will increase your knowledge of a very common condition which affects 10% of Australian men and 20% of Australian women. Depression is NOT a personal weakness, and many famous and successful people have suffered from this very common condition, have thought about ending their lives, and have recovered fully. In a few minutes, I will give you an address to receive a free information pack about these problems.
People who are very depressed or thinking of suicide are suffering intensely, even if they seem pretty normal to those around them. I want to emphasise to you that I, and many other doctors, are very aware of how painful and frightening your feelings can be, and I want to emphasise especially that these symptoms CAN be totally wiped out. Many people who have recovered from the same feelings of despair and suicide you may be experiencing describe having come out of a nightmare, and are hardly able to believe they once thought so negatively or wanted to die.
Medical research has repeatedly shown that nearly every person who commits suicide does so at a time when his or her ability to think calmly has been attacked by a brain chemistry change following stress. This is the illness doctors describe as clinical depression. Depression makes you feel exhausted, and unable to enjoy or be interested in anything the way you used to. You may have trouble keeping your mind on what you are reading, or lose track even just watching TV or making conversation. You may find you want to avoid contact with friends. Many people with depression feel tearful and upset very easily Depression is in fact very similar to developing diabetes, and just like diabetes, depression can be measured by a blood test in many people. A combination of medication and changing some of your habits seems to be the most effective treatment for depression, just like diabetes.
If you are having thoughts of suicide at this time, it is very likely you are in fact suffering from depression, an illness which is trying to control you. The important thing to realise is that the illness is telling you lies, at times very convincing lies, about the present and the future. It is like having a computer affected by a computer virus, so that the information you get looks real, but is in fact totally wrong. Don't let the illness fool you or control your decisions and actions. If you tell your doctor about these thoughts, and how strong they are, he or she will be able to bring your thinking and feelings back to the way they were before you were so stressed, or refer you to a specialist in this area. If your thoughts of suicide are overwhelming at the moment, please remember this CAN be fixed. Instead of doing something final, what have you got to lose by seeing if modern treatment can help you, so PLEASE go and see your doctor urgently. If your doctor is not available at this time, you can go to the emergency department of your local hospital. Or you can ring 1223 and ask the operator for the telephone number of a crisis service you can ring, or the telephone number of your nearest public hospital; and talk to the nursing or medical staff there about how you need help at this time. Despite what your illness is trying to tell you, the fact is there are a huge number of effective treatments which WILL cure the illness that makes you believe there is no hope and no escape.
If you are not able to get medical help or crisis help at this time, here are some ideas which will help you get through until you can get professional help. Firstly, try not to be alone at this time if at all possible. Tell a family member or friend how bad you feel, and that you are having suicidal thoughts, and ask them to stay with you until you see your doctor. Secondly, get rid of the methods and stay away from the places you have considered for ending your life, so they do not continue to tempt you when your are feeling defenseless. Thirdly, if it is safe for you to do so, and if it does not increase the temptation to harm yourself, consider getting out of the house, and going for a long walk or doing some activity outside the house, even going to a movie. Finally, if you are feeling desperate to stop the emotional pain and despair you feel, take any calming medication you have available, or which has been prescribed by your doctor, in whatever dose is necessary but safe, so that you can go to sleep for a few hours rather than harming yourself. A hot drink with the medication will help you to calm down and go to sleep more quickly. When you wake up, the emotional pain will be less. You do not have to die to get rid of the pain.
The central issue is that there is a battle going on inside you, between the sick bit of you that can only see negatives and therefore wants to die, and the healthy bit of you that knows things were not always this bad, and that the future will indeed be better. Instead of attempting suicide, which has been described as a permanent mistake when facing a temporary problem, I strongly encourage you to TELL YOURSELF WHAT YOU WOULD TELL A FRIEND WHO WAS THINKING YOUR THOUGHTS. HANG ON AND GIVE THE DOCTORS AND COUNSELLORS A CHANCE TO HELP YOU. If you give them time they will be able to dramatically improve how you feel and help you to solve the problems you cannot manage yourself at present.
If you would like a free information pack on depression and suicide prevention, giving you a printout of this message, a questionnaire to see if you have depression, and information about the antidepressants used in Australia, please send a stamped addressed envelope to Suicide Prevention, PO Box 222, North Melbourne 3051. If possible, please also send a donation to help with the costs of this service. The money is used exclusively to pay the telephone and directory costs, as both Commonwealth and State governments have refused requests for financial support. The address again is PO Box 222, North Melbourne 3051.
It is very important also that you do not drink a lot of alcohol or take marijuana at this time, as they will further damage your ability to fight this illness
As I have mentioned a number of times so far on this tape, the most likely medical diagnosis if you are feeling suicidal is that you are actually suffering from depressive illness, which is in many ways a form of paralysis slowing up and trying to control your mind. This is a chemical change taking over your mind because the stresses affecting you have been too much to cope with. Depression tries to convince you there is no hope of things getting better and will make mountains out of molehills, so that every problem seems to be a major disaster.
You will know you have depressive illness if you have a number of the following symptoms. trouble thinking clearly, problems keeping your mind focused when you are reading or watching TV, memory problems, finding everything too much of an effort, and feeling too exhausted to do things. Depressive illness will reduce your ability to do the things you normally have to do at work or at home, may make you less talkative and friendly, and will make you want to avoid contact with people either in person or even by telephone. Many people find themselves feeling tearful in situations which normally would not make them cry. Most people with depression also feel uptight, nervous or worried, and are often very irritable, so they start having problems with their relationships and their friends. As the depression becomes worse, many people have trouble sleeping or eating, and lose their normal sexual interest.
As the chemical changes in your brain become more dangerous, the illness begins to persuade you that there is no hope that things will get better, and no point in being alive. However, it is very important to realise that this is really a chemical imbalance taking over your mind, telling you continuous negative lies. It is a horrible form of suffering which can be fairly easily fixed in fact.
A little known fact is that the chemical changes of depressive illness can be measured in about fifty per cent of people, by a blood test. Your doctor can order this blood test, known as the Dexamethasone Suppression Test, if you seek treatment from him or her. It is your chemistry that is having a breakdown not you.
With regard to treatment, the fastest and most effective treatment for depressive illness is the use of prescribed antidepressant medication. Prescription antidepressants are not addictive, as they are different to tranquillisers such as Valium or Serepax. Antidepressants have been used worldwide by hundreds of millions of people over the past 50 years, without any problem with addiction in that time. We still do not fully understand how antidepressants work, but we do know that ANY antidepressant will cure about 75% of depressive illness. Yes, 3 out of 4 cases of depressive illness will be cured by any one antidepressant. At present we cannot predict which medication will suit any individual patient, so the choice is based on the range of symptoms you are suffering, and the usual side-effects of various antidepressants. The new antidepressants developed in the past 10 years have very few side-effects in most people. It is too complicated to discuss medication and side-effects on this message, but details will be forwarded to you if you send a stamped addressed envelope to Suicide Prevention, PO Box 222, North Melbourne, and a donation if you can afford it.
If you have depressive illness and your doctor or non-medical practitioner do not offer you the benefits of antidepressant medication in addition to whatever other treatment they provide you should discuss this issue with them. Treating depression without medication is like treating diabetes without medication, especially when it is severe, so you need to be clear about why you are not being offered at least a trial of such medications. Keep in mind that non-medically qualified therapists are not allowed to prescribe medication for you, even though they often provide other very useful forms of therapy, so your local doctor can help in addition to your therapist. However, research also repeatedly shows that the combination of antidepressants with certain types of therapy produces better treatment outcomes than either therapy or medication used alone.
Once you have recovered from depression, you must be aware it is like cancer of the mind, and you need to continue effective treatment in as high a dose as you can tolerate for as long as you can tolerate, to eradicate the seeds of a future attack. However, there will remain a risk of relapse in the future, with return of suicidal ideas. So do be aware of early warning signs, such as concentration or memory problems, or unusual tiredness and lack of motivation. Early treatment will markedly lessen your suffering.
I hope this information service has helped you. If you would like a written version of this tape, a questionnaire on depression and information on currently available antidepressants, please send a stamped addressed envelope to Suicide Prevention, PO Box 222, North Melbourne, Vic 3051. Or you may visit the Internet site www.suicideprevention.com.au. However, for legal reasons, I must again emphasise this is a privately funded voluntary information service only, and is not offering individual diagnosis or treatment. Accordingly, I will not be able to reply to individual letters. Your family doctor can give you any further help you may need. Thank you for listening.
If you have any comments, or any suggestions to improve this service, or if you can afford a donation to the service, please write to PO Box 222, North Melbourne 3051, or email davidhorgan@email.com
Permission to reprint the following article has been granted by Gavin Bird from the Schizophrenia Fellowship of South Qld Inc.
THE DOUBTING THOMAS SYNDROME
HUMAN RIGHTS CAN KILL
There are sufferers from serious mental illness being denied treatment because of undue concern for human rights, according to reports to the Schizophrenia Fellowship's Council of Australia.
"We have been to too many funerals of our sons and daughters and of our brothers and sisters. And too many of our people are in prison for offences committed after the system turned them away from treatment," said one report.
The Council is concerned that a balance is maintained between human rights to protection from danger and to freedom from torment, as opposed to the legalistic notion of the right to freedom per se.
The Council recommends the "duty of care" principle to guide the determination of professionals confronted by this dilemma.
Statement from the Schizophrenia Fellowships' Council of Australia meeting in Townsville in 1993.
The above statement is as pertinent today as it was in 1993. It was in Townsville that I first became aware that the communication barrier between sufferers of serious mental illness and their carers on the one hand, and the mental health system on the other, was not a local aberration.
Delegates from each of the Australian States reported that the experiences of our members in South Queensland were common throughout Australia. It was in Townsville that I first encountered the Doubting Thomas Syndrome.
Thomas, we are told, was a good man but he was unable to believe unless he should see in His hands the prints of the nails and put his finger into the wound and thrust his hand into the pierced side. (From John 20:24-25)
The essence of this syndrome is: `Unless I see it myself, I cannot act. If the police report it, I cannot act. If the parents or the spouse or the siblings or the children report it, I cannot act. If the distraught sufferer reports it, I cannot act.' To continue the Biblical analogy, many of our members attest that it is as hard for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, as it is to secure sanctuary and treatment in our mental health facilities.
Despite the closed mind-set to any evidence provided by sufferers and carers, if a nurse reports it in-house, it is a fact. If a colleague reports a veiled threat, it is a cause for alarm. If a chair is thrown at the clinic, it is dangerous.
But if a cheekbone is broken at home, it is merely unfortunate.
We believe the Doubting Thomas Syndrome is a common affliction of modern psychiatry. We believe the public system has been peculiarly spooked by the spectre of civil liberties that is more in the collective psyche of the system than in reality. The psychiatric profession is rightly mindful of the excesses of commission that occurred at Chelmsford (NSW) and Townsville's Ward 10B. However, it is in danger of losing its soul through the excesses of omission that are now occurring under the guise of the Doubting Thomas Syndrome.
It is a strange irony that those with the most intimate knowledge of a particular case, the carers and sufferers themselves, are the ones who are routinely excluded from decision-making processes. There is particular jeopardy when they and the police are excluded from the admission process, because they alone have the precedent history. We have all encountered people with a psychotic illness who become quite rational as soon as the doctor appears. This period is usually brief, but it is long enough to make an inexperienced or overworked doctor conclude that nothing is wrong if collateral evidence is excluded.
THE DOUBTING THOMAS SYNDROME
HUMAN RIGHTS CAN KILL - Continued
The mantra of civil rights is no excuse for neglect of responsibility or abandonment of common sense. Consumers and carers are still in the process of discarding the cloak of stigma that shamed them into the shadows. The mental health system needs them as part of the treatment team and they need encouragement to take their place alongside the mental health team.
By Gavin Bird
AGM MEETING
Dear Member
The Annual General Meeting of the White Wreath Association Inc - Action Against Suicide will be held on Monday evening, September 22 2003 at the Brown Plains Hotel Function Room, Browns Plains Road, BROWNS PLAINS, Qld commencing at 7 p.m. at which all positions on the Committee will be declared vacant.
You are invited to attend and, if interested, nominate for any of the positions on the Executive Committee or as a Sub-Committee member.
Below is a postal nomination form, which should be returned to reach the office five days prior to the meeting.
We look forward to seeing you there and thank you for your continuing support.
Yours faithfully
Committee - White Wreath Association Inc
"
I wish to nominate for the position of Director/Secretary/Treasurer/Sub-committee member.
Name: _________________________
Address: ________________________
________________________
Please complete and return to WWA Office at PO Box
BROWNS PLAINS QLD 4118 no later than 16 September 2003.