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Newsletters
~ Contact Us ~ Aims and Goals ~ White Wreath Day Past Services ~
Volunteers
~ Statistics ~ Members ~
Personal Stories ~ Donate/Shop ~ Guestbook ~ Thankyou ~ Directors Report ~ Press Releases
~ Correspondence ~
Advocacy ~ Coming Events ~ Sock-It-To-Suicide~ Safehaven/s
Newsletter on May 2007
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“Thank You” to all our volunteers Australia/wide who organised a Remembrance/Commemoration Service on National White Wreath Day-In Remembrance of All Victims of Suicide held on the 29 May. Your efforts and support are truly appreciated by all.
We also thank ABC Radio Nationally, Local Newspapers Nationally and ABC TV News Brisbane for their magnificent support in covering this very important day.
White Wreath Day is for all those that have lost children, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunties, grandparents, fiancés, friends and work colleagues. In many cases family members are the first on the scene and have found their loved ones, their own flesh and blood in horrific circumstances. All of these people are traumatised, devastated but yet they must grieve in silence and cope alone without any help or support.
This is why National White Wreath Day-In Remembrance of All Victims of Suicide is very important. Those touched will still grieve for a long while to come but hopefully they will realise that they are not alone and their loved ones did not die in vain but have brought us together to combat this devastation and together we will bring to the attention of all "Action Against Suicide" and hopefully raise the much needed funds to build our centres.
Fanita Clark
Director
People often say that, in a democracy, decisions are made by a majority of the people. Of course, that is not true. Decisions are made by a majority of those who make themselves heard - a very different thing.
-- Walter H. Judd --
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| THANK YOU |
Australian Air Express- Tanya Rouault Business Development Manager Banyo Qld, National Storage – Benny Lim Manager Springwood Qld, Clayton UTZ Lawyers, Zupps Hillcrest-Roger Farrell Qld, Kennard’s Hire-Wayne McJarrow
Special Thank You
achel Siewert-Senator for Western Australia, Christine Fyffe MP State Member for Evelyn Victoria, Norma Jamieson Independent Member for Mersey Tasmania, Neil Roberts MP State Member for Nudgee Queensland, Desley Scott MP State Member for Woodridge Queensland, Fay Miller MLA Member for Katherine Northern Territory, Linda Lavarch MP State Member for Kurwongbah Queensland, Hon Dean Wells State Member for Murrumba Queensland, Hon Ken Baston MLC Shadow Minister for Lands W.A, Hon Adele Farina MLC Member for South West Region W.A, Trevor Sprigg MLA Member for Murdoch W.A, Christine Fyffe State Member for Evelyn Victoria, Shelley Archer Member for Mining and Pastoral Region W.A, Senator Lyn Allison Leader of the Australian Democrats Victoria, Ken & Jennifer Grundy Naracoorte SA, IS & HM Gray Moama NSW, Hon Helen Morton MLC Member for East Metropolitan Region Shadow Minister for Mental Health Maddington WA, Cr Tim Dwyer Caloundra City Council QLD, Cr Dawn Crichlow OAM City of Gold Coast QLD, Lindsay Simmons MP JP Member for Morialta Rostrevor SA, Cr Eddy Sarroff Cr for Division 10 Gold Coast City Council QLD, Paul Hoolihan MP – Member for Keppel Qld, Heather Price – Bridgewater Tas, Ursula Stephens – Senator for NSW, Warren McLachlan – Mayor for Monto Shire Council Qld, Peg Putt – MLA Tas, Sue Ellery MLC – Member for South Metropolitan Region WA, Rockdale City Council NSW, South Australian Members of Skylines Australia.com SA, Jenny Macklin MP Federal Member for Jagajaga VIC, Cr Damian Amamoo Councillor for City of Prospect SA, Rockhampton City Council QLD, Goulburn Mulwaree Council NSW, Hon John Dawkins MLC Adelaide SA, Cr Terry Tyzack, Mayor, City of Stirling WA, Cr Graham Able, Mayor Logan City Council, Cr Ted Cassidy, Mayor, Ashfield NSW, Mr Chris Foley MP Member for Maryborough QLD, Cr Wayne Smith JP River Gum Ward City of Casey VIC, Cr Hajnal Ban, Cr Bob Bricknell, Cr Vanessa Bull, Cr Don Peterson Beaudesert Shire Council QLD, Cr Sheila Ireland Ipswich City Council QLD, Senator Claire Moore Strathfield QLD, Carina Leagues Club Carina QLD, Narrandera Shire Council Narrandera NSW, City of Charles Sturt Woodville SA, Annette Ellis MP Federal Member for Canberra ACT, Mayor City of Kingston VIC, Mayor Corones Gladstone City Council, Gladstone QLD, Mayor Hobart City Council TAS, Mayor The Council of The Shire of Bourke Bourke NSW, Karen Sait Councillor St Kilda Ward City of Port Phillip, Wyong Shire Council Wyong NSW, Forbes Shire Council Forbes NSW, Victoria Newton Councillor for Deagon Ward Sandgate Qld, Suncorp Commercial Customer Sales & Service Brisbane Qld, Winterglades The Flower Shed Capalaba Qld, Marianne Parklands Wholesalers Park Ridge Qld, Peter Mcgovern NSW, Gavin Bird Qld ,City of Unley, SA,
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22 January 2007 USA Thank you.
7 February 2007 Perth WA Great Site. I wish you all the best with your endeavours. I will become a member.
7 February 2007 Penrith NSW Hi Just like to say what a wonderful site to be able to come and share like this. I lost my only son to suicide on the 19 October 2006. He was only 20. He had hung himself and I found him. I think that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. He had lived with a mental illness for about 5 years that was drug induced. I watched him suffer and go through so much pain and torment but I couldn’t seem to help him enough….He was hearing voices and could not bear to be in this life anymore cause the pain was too great for him. He mentioned it was like he was on the road to insanity. I miss him so much and I think the hardest thing about losing him is that I will never see my sweet boy again or be able to hug him and tell him I love him. I felt so sad that I never picked up the signs that he was going to take his life. I suppose one thing I think of now is that he is at peace and in a better place. I believe he is with me that’s why I can keep on going…..I know he would want his mum to be happy. I miss my boy so much. I would just like to say, thank you for sharing your stories. It’s nice to feel you are not alone and that other people do understand…
24 February 2007 Perth WA Hi I lost my best friend to suicide 7 years today and the pain is till there. I have visited the site several times over the years to help me through. Thank You WWA.
17 March 2007 Victoria Hi at the moment I’m having suicidal thoughts going through my mind, and I just wished that I would die.
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PETER NEAME RESEARCH OFFICER
- Letter to the Editor, Courier Mail 31 March 2007
Sir,
Excellent Articles by Leisa Scott, “The Last Shot” Q Weekend and Focus c-m 31/3/2007 by Heather Stewart “Breaking the Silence”.
What is wrong in mental health particularly, but also across the whole health sector is front line assessment/diagnosis. If you put your most inexperienced staff at this level the entire health system suffers.
There has also been a decline in clinical training. Mental health training ignores completely the fact that mental illness like Alzheimer’s Disease and Parkinson Disease is a neurological disorder and assessment should be conducted along neurological lines not verbal interviews.
England has recognized the need for accurate front line assessment with the appointment of senior casualty officers sometimes retired nurses and doctors whose main qualities are years and years of clinical experience.
There is no scientific evidence for the diagnoses ‘Drug Induced Psychosis” but it is a good way of rejecting people from admission. A corner store of “Modern Psychiatry” is keeping people in the community at all costs.
It is too easy to blame government, management, lack of coordination, lack of resources, lack of staff “drugs”, modern stress on and on add nauseam.
Things are going wrong at the front line the very foundation of the health services.
Peter Neame.
Peter Neame is Research and Publication Officer for White Wreath Action against Suicide and author of “Suicide and Mental Health in Australia and New Zealand”.
WORKPLACE GIVING
Workplace Giving is a form of donating to charity that is steadily gaining momentum across Australia as employers understand the importance of the health and wellbeing of their people and seek to improve employee satisfaction.
The ability to give and make a difference in areas that have personal meaning, has a positive impact on people in the workplace and Whilst it is not a new concept, a recent ruling by the ATO has made Workplace Giving more tax-effective for the employee and employer - and free of cost for the charity!
Workplace giving enables you to make charitable donations to White Wreath Association from your pre-tax pay through your employer's payroll system resulting in an automatic tax reduction, without the need to keep and claim receipts!
How it works
you approach your employer and ask them to please deduct your donation from your gross pay and pay this directly to the White Wreath Association. The account details for your employer to transfer your donation to be:
Westpac Bank
Account Name White Wreath Association Ltd
BSB No 034-109 Account any 210509
It is as simple as that!
Many larger employers invite employees to participate in the Workplace Giving program. Employees could be asked to nominate a preferred Deductible Gift Recipient (DGR) charity or a particular area (eg mental illness) they would like to see included.
Importantly, the donations are constant and provide the ongoing income that the White Wreath Association needs to effectively plan and implement projects that will make a significant difference in the lives of many thousands of Australians. There is no cost to the charity so all the money donated to the White Wreath Association by employees goes directly to helping the White Wreath Association provide information, help and set up of our in/out patient care centres which will provide support for people and their families living with mental illness.
What do I need to do?
As an individual you can either:
1. Organise for your donation to be made directly with your employer (small/medium employers) into the White Wreath Association’s account:
Westpac Bank
Account Name White Wreath Association Ltd
BSB No 034-109 Account No 210509
ACN: 117 603 442
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MY STRGULE WITH DEPRESSION
My first attempt at suicide was when I was a young lad. I tried to hang myself with a tie from a tie rack. Fortunately, the tie rack could not support the weight of my body.
Depression was a significant feature of my life, but has gradually subsided to what I call a healthy depression. What sensitive, caring individual, for example, is not somewhat depressed by world events such as the war in Iraq, or climate change or terrorist bombings around the world?
My experience with depression and suicidal thoughts and feelings stemmed from: being given up at birth; being raised in orphanages and foster homes; having a “mixed-race” identity; experiencing physical, mental and sexual abuse; and my coming to terms with my gay sexual orientation, after the dissolution of my marriage, and loss of my children, after a 10-year relationship.
On the outside, I appeared to be happy and quite successful in my academic, professional and family life. But, inside I was dying and felt that I was not worthy of living. When I was just about thirty years of age, I took a massive overdose and was found unconscious two days after this attempt. I came close to losing my leg because I had become so dehydrated from the overdose. Fortunately, I lived, but my living didn’t mean the urge to kill myself abated.
My depression was so severe that I was hospitalized. A significant break came in my awareness as a result of talking to a psychiatric nurse. Telling her about an episode in my life that involved irrational physical abuse, she said “you must have been a very brave young boy to have survived what you have gone through.” It was the first time in my life that I had a new perspective on my life, one that entailed simple human kindness and gentle consideration.
I am most fortunate to have found a very wise psychiatrist who gradually helped me to pull off the layers of repressed and submerged experiences and feelings of worthlessness. But the process didn’t happen over night. I decided that my will to live had to come from within myself, and even though I was beginning to learn positive cognitive thinking skills, staying alive and wanting to stay alive was a day-to-day battle. I began reading all I could about depression and actively became involved in my inner self-development.
During this time, I was misdiagnosed as having HIV/AIDS. This was a most painful time in my life. Here I was trying to keep myself from killing myself, and life was adding a real shock to my being and psyche. In the midst of this absolute despair, and tired of talking to friends about my fears, I decided to “talk to myself” through the use of a video camera. I talked to myself as if a dear friend was talking to me. I watched the video, at first, with the sound on and then watched it a second time with the sound off to observe body language. I then made a video speaking to myself, in the way a compassionate and caring friend would address a sad, depressed and despairing individual. This exercise helped me to learn to see and treat myself with kindness.
Fortunately, I was born with an artistic temperament. When the suicidal feelings and thoughts would become so intense that life and living was unbearable, I would throw myself into my art, whether it was music composition, visual arts or writing. I also learned how important it was to volunteer and to help others whose situations were worse off than my own. Not only did helping others tend to take my mind away from my inner sadness, it enabled me to develop a deeper compassion for the human condition of which I am a part.
Fourteen years ago, I met my life partner, Harry, who has been significant in my road to recovery. He has patiently been with me as I have gone through various anti-depressants and their side effects. I have not been on anti-depressants for many years now, and I credit my healing to his kindness and wisdom.
I have learned that all the people who have entered my life, good or bad, have helped me to become the fairly well-adjusted person that I am today. As such, in my daily prayers, I take time to offer my blessings to their existence.
Through this self-development, over the years, I have come to appreciate how kindness and cruelty impact one’s life and the importance of being humane to all life, even my own.
Kenneth Hemmerick is the author of A Guide in Humane Awareness, a free online course and eBook designed to develop humaneness. (www.humaneguide.com). He is also the creator of Suicide Prevention Help, consisting of a Friendship Letter for those who are despairing and thinking about suicide, and a Web directory of positive suicide and suicide prevention resources available on the Web from around the world. (www.suicidepreventionhelp.com)
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Belinda’s Journal Continued
It’s 08.15 hrs Sunday 23 August (1998). I’m sitting in bed at Palm Beach Currumbin Hospital. Everyone else, except one guy, has gone on a walk to the beach. I’m not allowed to go on walks yet as I haven’t been ‘cleared’ by the doctors to do so. The other guy self-harmed yesterday and is not allowed to go either. I arrived here on Friday afternoon and thus far am still a bit apprehensive about doing the program here. It’s pretty full-on. I should also mention, I guess, that when I was let out of the Belmont on Thursday I went and had a shot as I was craving really badly. Mum and dad don’t know this but I summonsed up enough courage from somewhere to tell the nurses here about it. I’m really pissed off with myself for being so weak and having the shot but as I can’t turn back time I suppose I should just move on. Two steps forward, one step back. There are 2 beds in my room but one is unoccupied so I’ve got the room to myself which is great. As I mentioned the program here is really intensive. I’m glad it is in one way as it might actually help me to get and stay clean but on the other hand I’m really nervous about delving into my past, which I know is necessary, but really frightening. Every time I think of my childhood and adolescence I remember negative events which make me feel like crying. As I have spent such a long time holding back my tears I automatically block out the thought which causes my sadness. I may never stop. I know crying would probably help to heal myself but I feel it's too hard all the time. I’m still waiting for some miracle which will take away my pain so I don’t have to deal with it but this seems unlikely. Everyone here is really nice. I keep getting asked ‘how are you’ and I keep giving the expected response “oh yeah, good’. I wonder what would happen if I answered ‘actually I fee like shit, I hate living and no-one can help me.’ That would be more truthful but I don’t want to lay my shit in someone’s lap, especially when they’ve got their own shit to deal with. Good news of the day is there are no more ‘voices’ in my head. I’m still getting the odd message in the radio but they seem to be positive messages to which I’m glad. There is this girl here who has been here for 3½ weeks and a few people have apparently gone to her for support. I learnt this at my 1st community meeting which I attended this morning. I’m glad people don’t expect too much support from me, I find it hard not to just get up @ walk away when people begin to talk about their problems. It’s not that I don’t want to help others, it’s just that I doubt I’d be able to give any good advice. Maybe in 3 weeks I’ll feel differently. I know I should probably seek out some support but it’s embarrassing for me. I don’t like to feel needy. Just went down for a ciggie and everyone returned from their walk. Am considering letting the aforementioned girl, Janelle, to read this last entry in my journal to receive some sort of feedback. Doubt I’ll find the courage to do so. Even if I did, I doubt she would be able to understand why I feel like I do. She (@ some others) seem so strong @ in control of who she is and what she’s about, but maybe she creates this illusion so as not to affect others in a negative way. Maybe I should just wait @ speak to a counsellor. This also seems unlikely as I don’t like to tell strangers of my problems. I feel like I’m in some sort of limbo. Like I could continue using and probably end up dead in a few years or I could choose the harder path of trying to recover. If it wasn’t for my excellently supportive parents the first option would be my path of choice. But I don’t want to let them down again. Wish I was strong enough to just do the right thing.
Just did a therapy group called Feldenkrais Relaxation and Tai Chi and I must say that I haven’t felt this serene, without speed, in a very long time. Must practice what I learnt on a regular basis. Great stuff!
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COMING EVENTS
- WHITE WREATH DAY - In Remembrance of all victims of suicide. 29th May 2007
The main display on White Wreath Day – In Remembrance of All Victims of Suicide 29 May 2007 will be held in Queens Park Brisbane. Up to date information will be posted on our website www.whitewreath.com under “Coming Events” listing all other Commemoration/Remembrance Services held across Australia. Suicide/mental illness affects all walks of life, all cultures and all ages regardless of whether we are rich, famous or poor. All are welcomed to attend and lay a Photograph, Flowers, Poem etc and be part of a commemoration service that for most is the first time that they are able to freely admit the loss of a loved one, friend, work colleague etc that have taken their lives by these tragic means.
- SOCK-IT-TO-SUICIDE -
During the First Week of October (Monday1st – Friday 5th 2007)
This is an Annual event which involves workplaces, schools, social clubs, senior citizen clubs etc to wear (self supplied) coloured socks or stockings during one day of the week, and making a donation of a gold coin for the privilege.
We would greatly appreciate your support with this endeavour and hope it is a fun day for all.
Due to collating the newsletter many weeks prior to distribution we were unable to publish all events. Regarding an event in your area please contact us at the above address
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WISH LIST
“DONATIONS TAX DEDUCTIBLE”
Stamps, Copy Paper, DL Envelopes, Volunteers Aust/Wide
OR YOU MAY LIKE TO DONATE
1. Via our credit card facility posted on our Website www.whitewreath.com then follow the instructions.
2. Directly/Direct Transfer into any Westpac Bank
Account Name White Wreath Association Ltd
BSB No 034-109 Account No 210509
3. Cheque/Money Order to White Wreath Association Ltd
PO Box 1078 , Browns Plains Qld 4118
WE ARE NOW TAX DEDUCTIBLE
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CORRESPONENCE
Hello Mrs Clark
It’s a Wednesday morning and I have just taken my 4 year old boy to school and in doing this it brought back memories of me at school and friends. I went to school with Jason and while looking on the net I typed his name in. Mrs Clark while moving house not so long ago I found some photos of Jason and I would love to (when I unpack them) send you some copies as when I look at this I just have a little grin and shake my head as they are just Jason.
Mrs Clark I just wanted to tell you that as a friend of Jason’s I still often think of him, we also worked at Woolies together, and even though he wasn't with us for long he is often in my heart.
I remember at the pre formal at my house when he got there how sweet he was telling everyone how "HOT" they were. I remember` the trips down the coast we had in David’s and Trent’s car, we just had fun.
My mum has tried to suicide 3 times and this is not known to others. She spent some time in Logan Mental Health Ward but now she is doing great. I nearly lost my mum and that broke my heart so I cannot even start to imagine how you felt. My heart is with you.
Congratulations on an amazing thing you have done
C……
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Hello
I just came across your web site, and wanted to touch base to say I'd be happy to send you some copies of my book if you can pay the shipping. I live in Massachusetts in the U.S. My book came out in 2002, hardcover and 2003, paperback. To learn more about me and the book, visit www.howistayedalive.com
The site is outdated by 5 years, I'm afraid, but it's still a good source of information.
I'd be happy to autograph them for you.
Sincerely,
S R B
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Hi
My name is R…. and I am a mother of three who's concern for what is happening to Ballarat's youth is increasing more each day. I have a 14 year old boy who has already lost friends to suicide. I believe this problem is on the increase in Ballarat and would appreciate a push in the right direction to gather statistics to get the city council to take notice. TH's story is just one of many depressed Ballarat people who are not taken seriously, there is very little entertainment for under 18"s with grainery lane now closed the future looks dismal. I would like to have some statistical backup in order to apply for a community grant to establish more activities for marginalized youth. In Ballarat if you don't play footy, basketball or row you have little to do on the weekend except drink, I find this unacceptable and it's time to stop worrying about my sons future and help shape it.
If you could forward me some recent statistics or know of someone in the Ballarat area with some expertise I would greatly appreciate it.
regards
R
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Hi
My fiancee completed a suicide 2 years ago and I found him dead on my arrival home
I have just come across your website. In order to make sense of the loss I have stopped working and am studying counselling I am doing an assignment on the Australian government's lack of support of suicide grievers and lack of specialist grief support. Although dreading the exercise I have found the research cathartic and through information comes freedom of grief. I have looked up statistics for suicide for 2006 but can find any later than 1999 at this point. If you have more up to date statistics I would appreciate it. I did not attend any suicide help groups but understand from my research that I should have. Is it still worthwhile? Who apart form the Chatswood number is available in Sydney? Are their any specialist suicide grief counsellors in Sydney. If you would like the report I would be happy to pass it on once finished although it probably won’t tell you anything that you don’t already know.
Regards
F W
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Hi
Could you please give me some information on the people I could contact in Adelaide to volunteer my services for any future events. My 39 year old brother took his own life last August and I would like to bring some awareness to others.
Thanks T
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MY SON'S EXPERIENCES
An extract taken from the book my son Daniel started to write about his experiences. Daniel hanged himself on 19 October 2006.
“So in my room the flickers were back, now by this time I thought well I even saw some one run over the back fence, but only I had seen him or her jump the fences, so was I going crazy. Another day passed as more confusion spun through my head, now it was day time and then I heard what sounded like the roof was getting moved again. And I could see the roof boards getting pushed down again. Well mum had gone to work and my step dad wad out doing trade( fitting & turning,) so I watched the roof and now I could hear footsteps in the attic, some one was really in there and now I'm going to catch them in the act. (I figured after going up the first time didn't think they would leave this time, so once again as quick and as quietly as I could I grabbed the chair gently put it on the floor. I lifted the man hole cover. See this was going to be where I finally see who they are, at last. So I did a quick chin-up and got up there, and as I glanced round the attic, no one was there again, but I was positive I heard some one. Maybe I gotta go look a bit more at the chimney. So I got out of the roof, went outside and climbed on to the roof and then made my way to the chimney with my old trusty torch. I studied the chimney a bit and it occurred to me the loose brick that would be the perfect size for some one to fit perfectly, so I shone the torch in and I could see nothing. Now I could hear shhh shhh again, you don’t want him to hear us, and it was coming from at the bottom of the chimney but even with the torch I could not see down, but what if they couldn’t blow up the tank or it would have blown them up too. So I got to thinking what if they were in a big brick chimney and what if there were gas lines that passed through it because if there are, I’m stuffed and they'll be safe from an explosion.
Then I thought of some thing what if they aren’t really there. Well I didn't want to stay at my house. The paranoia of people trying to blow me up again, cause I head felt safe before because I heard the lighters for over a month but nothing had been blown up. But now they got a way of surviving and still getting rid of me, and taking a huge chunk out of my house.
So I decided to go to Johnie's these boyz are pretty hard maybe they can help me with my problem. So I told my mates about my cousin and his best friend were trying to blow me up and I told them everything. I was so convinced I saw someone. I was getting a bit worried bout people trying to blow me up and people in the house. Unfortunately I never had any proof that there was someone out there... I never even found them or seen them. It started off making me angry when people are in my roof laughing at me as I would try to sleep. I’d run outside and tell them to come and fight me and when there was no reply I gave them a count from 30 to come out but no one came. So standing in the back yard counting again this time back from 30 burrin' up for a blue. after I reached 0 no one came and well I began to grow very wary of these people that mocked me at I slept and laughed at me, and dropped feathers on me to piss me off. At first I was scared even petrified, but that soon turned to anger.
So as I went to school I began to grow bitter at my friends and my mate Tyson kept asking me “What’s wrong?” and I'd reply ”nothing” and he just kept asking me and I was getting more annoyed. A week after that I end up given up school. I just didn't want to go any more.
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